A POP Quiz for morons
1/ Equador
2/ 116 years
3/ Sheep and horses
4/ November
5/ Squirrel fur
6/ Dogs
7/ Albert
8/ Crimson
9/ New Zealand
10/ Dark purple
From:
"The Joketender"
(Keep in mind, I finished high school in the state of Florida. You can well imagine how much inspiration I have for dumb redneck jokes.)
Read on and enjoy!!! DUH!
A: He didn't have any body to dance with!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish police officer that gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he realized he was at a drive-in movie?
Two rednecks talking:
"Hey, your house is burning!"
"That's okay, I've got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one."
Q: Did you hear about the moron that broke his arm in two places?
A: He swore to God he'd never go there again.
Q: What does XXX stand for?
A: Three rednecks cosigning a note.
Q: Why is Otto a very popular redneck name?
A: There's only two letters to remember.
Q: Why did the redneck burglar break two windows when robbing a house?
A: One to get in, and one to get out.
Q: How can you tell if a guy from North Dakota isn't too stupid?
A: The words on his tattoos are spelled correctly.
Q: Did you hear about the redneck that was killed at the pie eating contest?
A: A cow sat on him.
Q: Why did the redneck only water half his lawn?
A: He heard their was a fifty percent chance of rain.
Q: What is considered a good hour's reading in Georgia?
A: The back of a cereal box.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to go ice fishing?
A: Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.
A woman walked into a South Carolina country store and said, "do you have any brown sugar?"
"No, Ma'am," replied the owner. "When it gets dirty, we throw it away."
Q: Why don't they throw dinner parties in Nebraska?
A: They can't remember how to spell R.S.V.P.
Q: What is the definition of a henpecked Georgian husband?
A: A guy who doesn't know how to tell his pregnant wife that he's sterile.
Q: Why did the moron only buy one snow boot for the winter?
A: Because the long-range forecast called for one foot of snow that winter.
Q: What are the worst five years of a redneck's life?
A: Third grade.
Q: What is the only thing thicker than a redneck's sideburns?
A: What's between them.
Q: What did the moron call his pet zebra?
A: Spot.
INTELLECTUAL REDNECK: A guy who doesn't move his lips when he reads.
Q: Why did the redneck plant Cheerios in his backyard?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.
Q: What is even smarter than an educated redneck?
A: A dumb Hillbilly.
Q: Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the side of a cliff?
A: He wanted to try out his new air brakes.
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was buried in a lake?
A: His son drown while trying to dig his grave.
Q: Why do rednecks act like such morons?
A: Who says they are acting?
Q: How do you recognize a redneck in a fancy hotel?
A: He's the one trying to slam the revolving door.
Q: Why did the redneck bride cancel the wedding?
A: She overheard her friends were planning to give her a shower.