Two blonde roommates went shopping one day. On the way, one blonde told the other that she had forgotten to switch off the iron. The second blonde turned to her friend and very cooly assured her that the house would not catch fire as she had left the tap running.
The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, "My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed modem." "High-speed modem?" questions the judge. "Yes" replies the lawyer, "It allows computers to communicate over vast distances at high rates of speed. It allows email and something called cybersex in AOL chatrooms, your honor." "Cybersex?" says the judge, "You mean sex through a modem? You mean sex on a monitor? Good lord, the morals of this society! Sex should be a natural event of nature!" "Secondly, my lord," continues the lawyer, "My client can produce a receipt for the 12-speed cd-rom." "12-speed cd-rom?" queries the judge. "Yes my lord, it enables millions of bits of information to be read off a small disk." "And I suppose most of this information is cybersex related... Modern technology and modern society, baffling, just baffling," comments the judge. "I'm appalled at what technology is doing to society these days." "Thirdly my lord, my client can produce a receipt for the super deluxe inflatable milk maid, whatever that is." "That's the one with the silicone breasts and real hair," replies the judge.
Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny." He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?" Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father
One morning a milkman called on one of his regular customers and was surprised to see a white bedsheet with a hole in the middle hanging up in her living room. The housewife explained that she'd had a party then night before in which the company played "Who's Whose" - each of the men had put their equipment through the hole and the women tried to guess their identity. "Gee, that sounds like fun," said the milkman. "Sure wish I'd been there." "You should have been," said the housewife. "Your name came up three times.
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