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An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little town where they first met. They sat in a small coffee shop in the town and were telling the waitress about their love for each other and how they met at this same spot. Sitting next to them was the local cop and he smiled as the old couple spoke. After the waitress left the table, the old man said to his wife, "remember the first time we made love, it was up in that field across the road, when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old times sake? The wife giggled like crazy and said, "sure, why not". So off they went out the door and across to the field. The cop smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and decided he better keep an eye on the couple so they didn't run into any harm. The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they began to undress. The old man picked up his wife when they were naked and leaned her against the fence. The cop was watching from the bushes and was surprised at what he saw. The wife was bouncing around and the husband was jumping up and down until about 5 minutes later when they both fell to the ground. They lay there a minute, got up and shook themselves and got dressed. As they walked back towards the road, the cop jumped out and said, "that is the most wonderful love making I ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young". "Not really", said the old man, "when we were young, that fence wasn't electric."
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex. The new bride asks, "What are they doing, honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" She replies, "Oh, I see!" After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex. Again the bride asks, "What are they doing, honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" She replies, "Oh, I see!" Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each other's body. The bride discovers her husband's penis. "What is that?" she asks. "That's my rope," he answers. She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she asks. "They're my knots," he answers. Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute! Her husband asks, "What's the matter honey, am I hurting you?" No," the bride replies, "undo those knots. I need more rope!"
Recent medical journals now counsel doctors that, when testing (Insert nationality, sex or hair color here) people, to refrain from telling them that they have sugar in their urine. Otherwise they'll go home and piss on their cornflakes.
During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness. After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he'd come across was, er, female juices. "But you're balder than I am," protested the customer. "True," admitted the barber, "but you've gotta admit I've got one hell of a mustache!"
Little Jorge is standing along side the railroad tracks out on the prairie eating some grass. His mother thinks he's standing a bit close to the tracks so she says, "Hey Jorge, get back away from the tracks before a train comes by and sucks you off." At this Little Jorge smiles and yells out, "C'mon train!"