Jokes 2

Getting saved?????

One day Bill Clinton slipped away from the Secret Service and was out jogging. He accidentally tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below... Three 10 year old boys were playing along the river and saw him fall in so they all jumped in and saved him and dragged him to shore. He was so thankful that he told each of them, "Boys, you just saved the President of the United States and each of you deserve a reward." The first boy says, "I want to go to Disneyland!" "I'll take you there myself!!!" exclaims Bill. The second boy says, "I want a brand new pair of autographed Nike Air Jordan's." "I'll buy them for you myself," says Bill. The third boy says "I want a motorized wheelchair with a stereo built into it with custom speakers." The president looks at the boy and says, "But son you don't look like you are handicapped to me" The boy says, "I'm going to be when my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning

The Best Sex Ever

A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure-she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible the best sex he'd ever had! He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room. A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think her orgasm's stuck!"

Turn off the lights

One day the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one`s mouth. Little Johnny says "It is not good to put a lit lightbulb in one`s mouth." The teacher says "that is correct, but why?" Little Johnny answers "I don`t know, but my mom always tells my dad "turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!"

Can you tell??

Three engineers got on a crowded lunchtime bus. They somehow worked their way to the middle of the bus where they found three girls willing to exchange their seats for a place on the guys' laps. After they got settled and had ridden that way for a while, the first girl suddenly asked the gentleman under her whether he might be an electrical engineer. Surprised, he replied, "Yes, I am! How did you know?" "Easy," she said. "I'm getting shocked by your soldering iron." Just a few minutes later, the second girl asked her guy, "Are you a mechanical engineer?" He said, "Why, yes, ma'am. How did you know that?" "Simple," she said, "Your piston is scraping my cylinder." Shortly thereafter, the third girl turned to her fellow and asked, "Are you a civil engineer?" "I certainly am," he answered. "How could you have known that?" "Well," she said, "I figured it out as soon as your dam burst and flooded my village."

Advertise

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy Poole, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!" She yells, "Whose Jimmy Poole?" This kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Jimmy Poole." "Well, Jimmy, your staying after school! The very next day when the substitute teacher walks in, she looks up at the blackboard and written on it, it says, "PAYS to ADVERTISE."

� 2000 Email