Jokes 23
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex. The new bride asks, "What are they doing, honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" She replies, "Oh, I see!" After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex. Again the bride asks, "What are they doing, honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" She replies, "Oh, I see!" Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each other's body. The bride discovers her husband's penis. "What is that?" she asks. "That's my rope," he answers. She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she asks. "They're my knots," he answers. Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute! Her husband asks, "What's the matter honey, am I hurting you?" No," the bride replies, "undo those knots. I need more rope!"
Little Jorge is standing along side the railroad tracks out on the prairie eating some grass. His mother thinks he's standing a bit close to the tracks so she says, "Hey Jorge, get back away from the tracks before a train comes by and sucks you off." At this Little Jorge smiles and yells out, "C'mon train!"
Recent medical journals now counsel doctors that, when testing (Insert nationality, sex or hair color here) people, to refrain from telling them that they have sugar in their urine. Otherwise they'll go home and piss on their cornflakes.
During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness. After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he'd come across was, er, female juices. "But you're balder than I am," protested the customer. "True," admitted the barber, "but you've gotta admit I've got one hell of a mustache!"
Judi went to Sherry's place to tell her about a horrible experience she had the previous night with this guy she took home. Sherry asked "Well, what happened when you got there?" Judi said, "After sex the S.O.B. called me a slut!" "What did you do then?" Sherry asked, somewhat shocked. Judi said "I told him to get the hell out of my bedroom, and take his eight friends with him!"
Twin brothers were named Joe and John, Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street mistaking him for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible". Joe said, "Oh hell no, fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning, her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl, while they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the middle". The old woman fainted.....
Boudreaux and Marie took a little weekend getaway trip
recently, and on checking out of the motel, Boudreaux
was presented a bill for $400.00 for just two nights.
Well, being the frugal individual Boudreaux is, he
proceeded to cut loose on the desk clerk. "For why
my bill is so high? We wuz jus' here for two nights!"
The clerk advised him, "Well, sir, the motel has a health spa,
exercise equipment, running track, and an Olympic size
swimming pool."
Boudreaux told him, "But I didn't use none of dat stuff."
The clerk replied, "Maybe not, but it was available."
Well Boudreaux really had his mad up now, and told the guy,
"Well if I got to pay dat, here's a bill for you for $350.00 for
you sleeping wid my wife while we was here!"
The clerk told Boudreaux that he didn't sleep with his wife.
Boudreaux screamed back at him, "Well, maybe not, but she
was available!"
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"
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