Jokes 21
As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, Honey?" "Mommy, where's my booger?"
Persuasion was necessary, but the amorous swain had finally gotten his girlfriend between the sheets. In due course he made love to her, finally burying his sword in her sheath and beginning to screw away. "Be careful," she panted. "I think I have a weak heart." "Don't worry," he said, without missing a stroke. "I'll take it very easy when I get up to the heart!"
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!
Women don't care how big your dick is. They would, but they're too busy worrying about the size of their tits.
I met this beautiful girl last night. She invited me back to her place and we had the greatest steamiest sex ever. Actually, it wasn't really the greatest sex ever, it was more like medium-great sex, and well, she didn't exactly invite me back to her place, I sort of followed her to a McDonald's. To be factual, we didn't actually have sex per se, but we came very very close. You see we were fondling each other pretty intensely... well, actually, I was fondling her, she wasn't fondling me... well, really, I wasn't so much fondling per se, our bodies just got very close together. To be honest, I just sort of brushed into her while we were both in line. Accidentally. But it was great, really hot and sensual you know? Actually, to be specific, it wasn't really her that I brushed into, it was really the back of the chair she sat down in. Although, the chair was on the other side the room you see. And I was sort of leaning my own chair on the opposite wall. We were connecting and all though ! And we did make eye contact several times. Well, not eye contact exactly. She sort of caught me staring at her, got that frightened lil' bird look in her eyes, and got up and ran out of the place. I would have caught up with her too, had she not flagged down that Police car. I fail to see how all this constitutes "stalking" though. I mean, come on, give me a break here. But anyway, wow! What a night. What a night. If all goes well here, I should be making my next post on my further adventures in 90-120 days; the delay will be up to the Judge, I guess.
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her
adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The
husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner
desired.)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)
� 2000 Email