Jokes 19
Pee Wee was sitting having a few at the local bar when he saw Amy sitting only a few chairs down. He moved over and proceeded to engage her in conversation, finally mustering up his courage to ask her out to a movie. Amy hauled off and slugged him so hard he landed smack on his ass; hitting the floor real hard. "Gee," Pee Wee said, picking himself up, "I suppose you cooking me dinner with romantic music, candles and screwing you till morning while my wife watches.... is out of the question, huh?"
Gail strode angrily into a large store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" Gail's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are for cats?"
A teacher asks her class to use the word 'indefinitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny's hand immediately shoots up. But the teacher is worried about how he will answer, so she calls on Bobby. Bobby replies, "Due to the weather, school was canceled indefinitely." "Good," the teacher replies. "What about you Jenny?" Jenny says, "Since the bus broke down, transportation has been stopped indefinitely." "OK, class," the teacher says as she surveys the room, "let's have one more example." Little Johnny is waving his hand saying, "Ohh! Me! Me!" And the teacher thinks that maybe he has a good answer and calls on him. Johnny stands up and says, "As I felt my balls slap against her ass, I knew that I was in definitely!"
Two women were discussing their sex lives. Gail complained to Rotunda: "I can't take it any more. Every time Pee Wee shoots his load, he screams and shouts, then dances around the bedroom naked, singing 'Dixie'." "What's wrong with that?" asked Rotunda. Gail replied, "Well, for a start, he keeps waking me up!"
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -- they are more fucked up than you think.
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