Your house got toilet papered, and your mom thought it was a gift from God.
You take your wife to K-mart for your honeymoon.
The value of your truck triples when you have a full tank of gas in it.
Your dad walks you to school because you both attend Jr. High.
A Jack-O-Lantern has more teeth than you do.
You've been on the news six times for describing the sound of a tornado.
You've ever bought a can of tabacco, but soon found out that it was ground up coffee beans.
You have to frequently yell at your 14 year-old daughter for smoking at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ask what's for Thanksgiving dinner, and your wife puts her legs up on the table and says, "Crabs!"
You use your shotgun to make a sunroof.
You and your family of twenty-six see who can lay the longest terd, and your grandma ends up winning with a 16-inch, three pounder.
You dress up to go get pancakes.
Half of your income comes from winning Bingo games.
All the money you earn off of bingo goes towards buying a TV to watch NASCAR on.