Johny Practices the Alphabet
Little Johnny has a problem. He swears too much. He cusses like a sailor. Johnny's teacher is aware of this, so she is going to be extra careful not to let Johnny cuss today. "Okay, class. We're going to play a game today. I'm going to name a letter of the alphabet and I want you to come up with a word that starts with that letter and put it in a sentence." The kids are excited, especially Johnny, who's thinking of every cuss word he can think of. "Okay, class, let's start with the letter A." Johnny raises his hand. "Susie," the teacher calls. "A is for apple. Apples grow on trees," she replies. "Very good," the teacher says. "Okay, class, let's do the letter B." Johnny raises his hand excitedly. "Mikey," the teacher calls. "B is for baseball. Baseball is my favorite sport." "Very good," the teacher says. "Okay, class, let's do the letter C." Johnny raises both hands! He's going nuts! He's got the perfect word for C!! "Bobby," the teacher calls. "C is for cat. A cat lives in my backyard." "Very good," The teacher says. This goes on and on, and the teacher is not going to call on Johnny if there's a cuss word that starts with the letter she calls out. Finally, she gets to the letter R. The teacher can't think of a single cuss word that starts with R, and even Johnny looks a little puzzled. So she calls out R and asks Johnny to respond. Johnny nervously stands up. He looks around the room. Then he says "R is for a Rat..." he suddenly gets excited and stretches both arms wide, "...a rat with a dick this big!"
