* "What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
Tom Clancy

* "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin

* "You know that look women get when they want sex?
Me neither." Drew Carey

* "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as
meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."
Woody Allen

* "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't
have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Unknown

* "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life
at all."
Rodney Dangerfield

* "My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which
makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet."
Bill Kelly

* "As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women
and clergymen."
Rev. Sydney Smith

* "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a
date on Saturday night."
Woody Allen

* "Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the
truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
Sam Austin

* "I can remember when the air was clean and sex was
dirty."
George Burns

* "I can remember when riding motorcycles was dangerous
and sex was safe."
Unknown

* "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of
getting married."
Matt Barry

* "Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
Unknown

* "My kid had sex with your honor student."
Bumper Sticker

* "My sexual preference is not you."
T-shirt

* "Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to
support it for the rest of your life."
Michael Sinz

* "Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too
fast."
Woody Allen

* "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
George Burns

* "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation.
The other eight are unimportant."
Henry Miller

* "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals
and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean
that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they
need more supervision."
Lynn Lavner

* "There are a number of mechanical devices which
increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
P. J. ORourke