How You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Rotten Day

-You wake up face down on the pavement.
-You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
-Your birthday cake collapses fromm the weight of the candles.
-You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the
city.
-Your twin sister forgot your birtthday.
-You wake up and discover your watterbed broke and then realize you
don'thave a waterbed.
-Your car horn goes off accidentallly and remains stuck as you follow a
group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
-Your boss tells you not to botherr to take off your coat.
-You wake up and your braces are llocked together.
-You walk to work and find your drress is stuck in the back of your
pantyhose.
-You call your answering service aand they tell you it's none of your
business.
-Your income tax check bounces. -You put both contact lenses in thhe same eye.
-The bird singing outside your winndow is a buzzard.