Sign Language:

Veterinarian's office sign: "All unattended children will be given a free
kitten."

Lot outside Vet's office in Silverton, OR: "Parking for customers only;
others will be neutered."

In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello. We can help pick your nose."

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road, and stop
reading these signs."

On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoking, we will assume you are on fire and
take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrists Office: "If you don't see what your looking for, you've
come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence: "Salesmen Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully; we'll wait."