question2

InterGordo (6:58:48 PM): i'd visualize you naked which would give me such an erection that i could not only escape, but i could also "boost the horses" McGyver style. actually, my car now runs on midgets, so boosting the horsepower just involves installing more midgets

cjs2882 (10:41:23 PM): here's how it goes: Qudan quickly breaks up the bread and scatters it all around him to attrack the gaggle of geese. The geese will starting honking and attract the attention of nearby old lady--because old people love geese. Danny will offer her an alka selzer if she is willing to move the car for him. She accepts the offer because old people love alka seltzer. After he is freed, he puts on the Redskins hat and plays counterstrike for 12 hours.

Poptart Stud (8:53:35 PM): first i would take the redskins hat... finders keepers. Now onto more pressing matters. You gotta feed the geese the bread. It would just be inhumane to leave them hungry. So I'll break up the bread into crumbs and lay them in a line across the road. The geese stop the next car driving by. I then beat the driver across the head with the wrench and feed the body to the geese. Then i fasten a rope out of the twist ties and attach it to danny and the new car and then pull him out. Just for shits and giggles i feed the alka seltzer to the geese and watch them explode. Danny gets to keep the soccer ball so he can remember that he used to be able to play.

RingerUMD (1:31:05 PM): put on the redskins hat and die with honor

KingPhillyD (Gay-O'Clock): Dan. Trapped. Our worst nightmare is now upon us. The items around him seem to be of little use, and one wonders how such a collection of things was assembled, anyway. No matter. He immediately and instinctively reaches for the soccer ball. It will keep him from going insane. Its companionship will be with him throughout the ordeal. Next, he takes the three pieces of bread in his hand, calling out to the geese. The birds run over to him. There just so happens to be four geese in this gaggle. As three of them eat bread, Dan makes his move, tying the twist ties around their beaks. The other one tries to get away, but Dan proves his arms are worthy of his legs, and quickly grabs the goose to apply the final twist tie. Dan tells the geese if they lift the car so that he may escape, he will untie their beaks. Freed legs for freed beaks, what a deal. The geese don't understand. They are merely geese. And geese can't lift cars anyway, Dan, what are you, retarded? But wait! Lo and behold, a fifth goose! It is a massive bird of radiant splendor! Dan proceeds to welcome it...before knocking it out with the wrench. He proceeds to taunt the geese, hoping they will now follow his plan: "Where's your messiah now, you rotten birds?" But for the love of God, Dan, they're just geese. Dan starts to go crazy. Even the soccer ball can't help him now. If there was a saw around, he'd resort to amputating his lower half by now. But alas, it wasn't one of the specified items. He takes the Alka-Seltzer in his hand...will eating the tablets kill him, ending all this misery? Or is he confusing that with an urban legend? Whatever the case may be, he instead decides to throw the tablets at the geese. His desire to punish the geese gets sicker by the second. Dan sees the Redskins hat. He thinks of all the wacky things Daniel Snyder has done as owner and starts to laugh. Oh, does he laugh. He is now officially insane. So he grabs the battery. And in the spirit of most of the answers for the last question of the week, long ago, he proceeds to shove it up his ass. It is done to give him some kind of pleasure during his final moments in this world. He...is...almost...gone...wait...what's that in the sky? It's...it's...BATTERY ASS MAN! DAN IS SAVED! Battery Ass Man lifts the Buick overhead and tosses it into a crowd of mimes who just happened to be performing down the street. Dan asks, with a weary smile, "Who are you?" "Battery Ass Man is the name," the stranger says. "Whenever someone inserts a battery in their ass, I'll be there to help...or to join in some sick electric orgy. Whatever's going on. And if I can kill some mimes in the process, that's just a bonus. Goodbye, fellow battery ass. BATTERYYYYYYYY!" With that, Battery Ass Man flies into the atmosphere. Dan takes the battery out of his ass, and grasps it as if it were the most priceless artifact in the universe. He cries out to Battery Ass Man as he leaves: "You're the only man I'll ever love!" This turns out to be true, as the geese proceed to peck Dan to death. They figured being trapped under that car would kill him, but once he was freed, they took matters into their own hands. Geese don't speak english, but they do know when they've been punished and used. That's when they kill. Sadly, Dan could never give his love to another man; the geese didn't give him a chance.

Reviler01 (1:30:20 AM): first, he would lure the gaggle of geese toward danny by throwing the bread toward him...then he'd grab four geese and tie them to his wrists with the twist ties...but before that put the alka seltzer in his mouth...then by the time he was done with that he could show the geese his mouth and growl like a grizzly bear and he would scare them so much that the geese would pull danny out from under the car

ShockWaveN (3:17:01 AM): quadanny flies
ShockWaveN (3:17:07 AM): and the boy''s win
ShockWaveN (3:17:09 AM): and the music plays
ShockWaveN (3:17:11 AM): and we still win
(A little disclaimer for G- I asked him to answer this while he was drunk. I'm not even sure if this was his answer, but these four sentences make even less sense in any other context.

Smky6214 (2:34:50 PM): danny beckons the geese toward his direction with the help of the bread but as he is doing so a flock of sea gulls start to dive bomb for the bread--danny then throws the alka seltzer to the gulls making them explode in mid air. the geese continue toward danny. When they reach him danny uses the twisty ties to tie the geese to the car...coincidently enough, each goose has a fetish for wrenches, batteries, and soccer balls. Danny places the REdskins hat atop his head to protect his delicate skill and then he throws the wrench, battery, and soccer ball away from the car and the geese whichly chase after. With their incredible goose strength, the geese easily pull the car off of danny

Question of the Week, #2:
While Qudanny was trying to boost the horses in his Buick, he somehow kicked the jack out with his massive soccer legs. He is now pinned under the Granny-mobile. Around him are the following: a Redskins hat, Alka Seltzer, a soccer ball, a gaggle of geese, three pieces of bread, 4 twist ties, a wrench, and a battery. What should he do? Please hurry, for the sake of our favorite man whose name starts with "Q". Good answers will be posted. Great answers will be cherished.

Winner for Week 1: Colin Ringer 2nd place: Phil Dzikiy

Notes: Danny- I don't remember McGyver ever improving the performance of his car with his penis.
          Cathy- Old people love geese and alka seltzer, huh?
          Howard- Why didn't you just ask the guy instead of killing him? Also, the end is funny
          Ringer- Short, simple, and funny. I like it.
          Phil- You know why you didn't win. I couldn't let you win after you said you were assured the win.
          Riley- Nice, I like the improvement. Use that ole' imagination.
          G- retard
          Dana- Thank you for participating. Why did the geese have to have a fetish for objects? You could have             just thrown the bread that he was holding, that was beckoning the geese anyway.