A Lesson of Youth

By JP Malig

 

One of the drawbacks of growing older is dealing with increasing numbers of younger people.  Angeles City overflows with these.

Each June, we herald the arrival of a new class of dewy freshmen, ready to take the world by storm—just like last year’s crop which didn’t and who we’ve forgotten about.

 What entices us is not the freshmen themselves but what they have and represent: youth.  Celebrating others’ youth makes us vicariously young again, and helps us forget, for a moment, that ours is gone or on its way out.  

Everyone worships youth.  But youth viewed from the eyes of those who have seen theirs fade is at the same time riveting and terrifying.   Can a woman’s legs really be that smooth?  Does she notice my sagging chin?  Does she see me as a man or someone who reminds her of her dad?  In this town, gentlemen on the cusp of 40 ask these questions many times a day.

One of life’s shocks for which men cannot prepare is the sudden realization there are women who are too young for them.  It sneaks up on us, as we flirt with the arrogance that they now bask in, then becomes our wistful companion for the rest of our lives.

Youth fascinates, yet threatens us.  It fills us with hope, yet chills us with dread.  It charms us with fantasies, yet lectures us about realities.  Youth, to those who are no longer young, is purposeful. 

We mourned the loss of Princess Diana because she was sweet and nice and poignantly sad.  But mostly we mourned her because she was young and beautiful and that youth and beauty were snuffed out by a cold reality that has no regard for our sentimental notions of enduring freshness and comeliness.

Had Diana died twenty years hence, the outpouring of grief would not have been the same.  But that doesn’t mean we were shallow in our reaction; just human and slightly misled.

Our fascination with youth should lead us to an understanding that there must be a youthfulness that can last, that cannot be wrinkled by sun or years. 

It is the youthfulness of heart and spirit bolstered by a love of life and others.  It is a youthfulness that sustained a small, stooped lady who lived and labored in the ruins of Calcutta and smiled like a little girl until her body gave out.   She is still smiling.

There are two paths we can take as we grow older.  One is paved with denial, tinged with bitterness.  Along the other, the young people we meet remind us of how young we can be inside.  That youth, as bright and invigorating as any, can only fade if we let it.

 

11 May 1998

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