A little view into my vulnerable side...this was something I'd written just after New Year's 2002 and had dropped the ball on it <heh heh heh, I am infamous for this>...I decided to leave it in as it shows my heart and that I am who I am because of my expriences <joy and pain> in life, and that I am better for it all :) 11/30/02
I have not been around in quite awhile to play with this hobby in particular. I recall the last time I really put any effort forth was last winter, so maybe this is a cyclical thing for me when I am enclosed during the cold months. Anyhow, it is just another vehicle for creative expression for me...an outlet. Really it doesn't matter to anyone who doesn't care...so when you get right down to it, this is a very personal thing! :) 2002 is going to be a great year, I can just feel it! Life is all about metamorphosis...and for me, personally..I propelled myself into a self metamorphosis in certain areas of my life last year. I wanted to be healthier, less stressed, happier in my job/career. I also wanted to be strong enough to weed out anything that was unhealthy for me emotionally, which I also accomplished. Sometimes it just takes a period of time to meet your threshold and to feel confident about yourself, your abilities..and to re-align your goals..and then you can accomplish most anything! I have learned so much about myself..as I reflect, it excites me that is a never ending process from which to blossom and grow, even if in the past there has been great pain involved. I am stronger and better from it now. What is even better is that it has helped me to see clearly and without a doubt that which I'd like again in my life someday...and right now I speak of a relationship. Divorce sucks and I have been beyond that for many years now, holding out for something special again someday, but enjoying meeting people and dating, getting out and having fun! I'm all about laughs...When you are stumbling along in the wrong situation<s> you can really learn a lot..but that is good, because in the end I always say that *everything* happens for a reason. I know what I want now after having spent a good amount of time pretending that I really didn't need it. And I must say that I feel excited and happy.
I was fortunate to have spent the Christmas holidays with my sister Georgene and her husband Marcel and my Mother. I really do enjoy spending time with them...and I do realize that there are many families who are not close, who do NOT get along, let alone with in-laws. I am thankful for how things are.
Back in October I had a girls' vacation up in Bar Harbor, Maine <one of my favorite recreation/vacation stomping grounds>..with a good friend of mine, Diane. I might add that Diane and I had met online YEARS ago in that crazy game I played called Meridian59. I have made a few real friends from having spent many hours in that game chatting and killing people, slaying monsters, going to war, hehehehe. :) Anyhow, that vacation turned out badly, unfortunately..I came down with my yearly bout of layringitis/bronchitis <thanks to all of you GERMY people on the TURBO PROP to Portland! *smacks you all> hehehe...but on the third day, poor Diane was becoming increasingly concerned over her inability to reach her Mother back in Rochester. We learned that morning that her Mom suffered a stroke and we had to get Diane back home immediately, which we did. I have to report that although progress is quite slow, she and Mom have adjusted quite well it seems in the transition from complete hospital.rehab care..to coming back home with Diane. I know it has been incredibly draining and stressful to say the least...and I hope that she keeps progressing..albeit slow..it sure didn't look good at all when it first happened
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