Silence
-- Written December 1996
The quiet sits upon
Quiet sits upon
Quiet sits upon
Quiet...
And straddles
Big long nadas
Trailing after it (biting its own tail)
Shivering the air with polka-dotted,
LOUD, pearled non-existent sound...
Yet, just there---
For the ear to hear...
Random joints of echos, thoughts, hopes,
Shadows, dreams, fears.
Excitement and a few wet raindrops of tears...
Staccatos of exclamation points of
Complete and Totally Perfect Jeweled Moments of
Sh-sh-sh-s-s-s-s-silence...
� 1998 All rights reserved.
The Biggest of Lies
-- Written July 1, 1998
When I was a little Girl
I heard about these Women
Who when they dreamed that dream
And wished that wish
The Man of their Fantasies were summoned and
They came together in bliss...
Sometimes He was on a White Horse
Other times He showed up for a big rescue.
Then there were those times that He sweeped
Passionately into Their live
To stay "happily ever after..."
You listened to the Fairy Tales
And you as a little girl,
(Knowing that one day you too will grow up to be a Woman)
Believed the "Once Upon a Time..."
You began at an early age to see the White Flowing Long Dress
And envision Truer than True Love.
But the truth begins to become clear
As one day, after many brushes with Him
You realized the biggest lie
It wasn't Santa Claus
It wasn't the Easter Bunny
Or the Tooth Fairy
None of them really mattered in the overall scheme of life
It was the Tales of Love, Truth, and Soulful Desire
This is the lie, the biggest of lies, among all the lies of living
I say, go ahead and teach your little Girls (and your little Boys too!)
The beauty of Love
Go ahead and teach them about Truth and Desire
Go ahead and tell them about the Horseman in White
But let those little ones know that love is a Decision
Not a Fairy Tale
Love is a Resolution
Not a Fantasy
Love is Persistence
Not a dishonest inconvenient Lie
And Love begins inside of YOU!
� 1998 All rights reserved.
Emotions at Midnite
-- Written October 1998
Only around midnite do I remember
To be lonely.
The day is way to busy to notice
The Absense of closeness
I have sex to fill it all in
To make up for what I won't let
Myself yearn for,
True Love.
I refuse to be cynical at the 2-four-letter words
That are accidents waiting to happen.
What do I want?
A man, a child -- less time to think
About the lack of happiness
Or satisfaction
Or too much compromise
Or the freedom of a long ago childhood
Boards squeek overhead, car-horns blare outside,
Trying to find that comfortable sleep
Space in a single futon
In chilly warm sheets
Under thin worn blankets
Alone...
It ain't so bad...I got me...
Fill in the blanks without the right Answers
Smile at the World when bitter-tasting Apathy is felt
Breathe in the place that's all yours
A dream once dreamt
Now realized -- But Hope for so much more
Midnite comes and goes
Sleep calls and beckons
Loneliness is an old true love friend
It ain't so bad...
I truly have a Knowledge of my emotional self!
Priceless, really...
� 1998 All rights reserved.
the Color Blind experience
--Written October 28, 1994
When I was very young
And I wanted to begin and Live my Life,
Live my Life in the Then and Now,
I wanted to see Life as it was:
The Black & the White,
The shade & hue of the Greys.
The shadows, where the Light
Can't and won't shine.
I thought I knew,
Not everything, but some of IT.
I thought I understood IT.
And what IT is and was and could be...
Then I grew inside and out.
I began to determine my Life.
All I saw was the harshness
Of the Black & the White,
The subtle cutting of the greys.
The darkness of the shadows,
Where Light can't and won't shine.
And I thought IT is TOO much,
Not everything, but most of IT.
And I thought I understood none of IT---
Lost & confused...
Within & without...
Driving me away,
Driving me crazy,
Toward a haze of cruel and desolate horizons.
Then I grew up and thru IT.
Allowing God to work in my Life,
Letting God control IT---
Love & Nuture IT,
Sculpt IT,
Molding,
Shaping,
Keeping IT True,
Plain & Simple.
And I realized the deep richness
Of the Black & White.
The color softness
Of the surrounding Greys
And the constant changes
Of the shadows that
Light can & sometimes shine radiantly, even brightly---
According to Life's varying hues!
We are all apart of this Light & Dark,
The struggle within & without
To live for the Light
The Star
The Son
No doubts to live in mind
With Shadows & Greys,
We create & destroy
Building up & tearing IT all down
Re-building & changing as God let's us grow up
And Thru and around
This is the Color Blind experience--
With colors as bright & luminous as Life
Our Growth Process to enjoy within the living Journey.
A Walking that has a heavenly infinity.
The righteous Beauty is there upon Faith of heart-focused
Acknowledgement.
� 1998 All rights reserved.
The Jazz of Life
---Written July 16, 1993---edited October 1, 1997
The dark night grows warm with the starry essence of the universe.
And this leaves me with undetermined wonder.
I want to know what I am trying to accomplish from Life,
Or what is Life trying to do to me---
(And is it personal!)
And the fear is real;
It's the smooth sounds, of the crowds of lonely minds,
Floating and limbering
Around the night field that causes me to cherish Life...
I'm just curious,
Why is the music essence of people called 'Souls'?
I can hear the sound of the beginning of time in a baby's cry.
And what do we really know, but the primitive cry,
And why in the hell is that bad?
We all skip through Life with an undetermined amount of wonder;
All different speeds, dramatic harmonies,
Clashing, blending, melding together...
Constantly changing time and key...
What a sweet melody!
Hear that SERIOUS Bass
Thrown through the air.
Can't help but match that rhythm;
Can't help but Jam to that cadence...
The colors are dark and light.
The shapes are round and the corners are sharp enough to cut
And bruise.
The senses are alive, whether we acknowledge it or not.
Staying numb is no excuse...
Life rips you open and spills out the Notes of a new chord,
Many well played, most long lost and forgotten.
It is what moves and ripples through you.
Oh yeah,...I forgot to tell ya,
Don't worry your po'head about it...
It's just the Jazz of Life.
� 1998 All rights reserved.
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