09:59 PM -
This is heavy (taken from my online journal at The Link
Yesterday I got an email from a friend (who I will call Mary for the sake of this article), and it took me a couple of hours to respond. It turns out that she got raped a while ago, and it going through some incredible stress right now. She is unable to move her case forward, feels victimized and does not know who to trust.
Like all problems, it seems worse when you feel alone. I suggested that she bond with family, and take a self-defense course. It turns out that she does not have much family here. A lot of women who work in support services (and probably woman's self-defense) are lesbian or bisexual and she is hetero. This makes her uncomfortable, which I can relate to.
Probably there are theories that lay blame for this kind of bahaviour, on the patriarchy of our traditions. Then there are other theories about how pornography degrades women and leads to this kind of thing. My mother told me that rape is a violent act not a sexual one, which I can agree with. So we could lay blame on our violent entertainment - movies, TV, and video games.
But restriction of freedoms and censorship will not solve this problem of society. Communication will. Between and within the sexes.
Anyway, I am not going to reveal anything about this person (obviously) or her case. But I think that this issue should be talked about - in a non-accusatory way that does not deny either male or female sexuality. As John Irving wrote - men are often made to feel guilt by association.