MyTestimony

I had my son at 18, no father for him but I did the best I could. When he was 1 year old I met Chuck and after just 4 short months we were married. Chuck drank allot and smoked weed. Right after we were married he took me far from my family and friends in California to New Mexico. Up until now he had been a wonderful husband but now we were with his family and he had to be in charge. I found out later his father beat on his mother (big warning sign ladies). The first time he really hurt me he slammed my head in the refrigerator door then rubbed my face in the carpet. I got away that night but had to go back, young and scared with my baby in tow, where was I to go? I told him I wanted to go home and he took me back to California. Soon he was doing crank/speed, he started running for the local dealer. The drugs made him even meaner, I hated the drugs but did them, it was easier to do them then to fight all night with him as to why I wouldn't (that was my excuse). After 7 years of a very hard life of drugs and fighting, mostly keeping him from hitting on my son, I couldn't stand for him to touch me, he wouldn�t leave me alone, I couldn't get away from him, he cheated on me. His father passed away 8 years into the marriage and he wanted to go back home to his family. Somehow I ended up in Oklahoma City right after the bombing. I was in a deserted house that the owner said we could live in for free, free because the roof was falling through in the kitchen, you could see daylight. No stove, refrigerator, heating or cooling or hot water. We ate a lot of sandwiches from an ice chest then. He started leaving us for days on end, me and 2 kids ages 10 and 4. No food or money I would lay awake at night, scared, how was I going to take care of them? When would he come home and hit on us some more? I started praying to God to get us out of there. I promised God I would straighten up my life and do right if He would save us from him. The next day he came home, it had been 3 days. He was strung out on drugs and drinking. Mad because my son had broke our daughters big wheel he went after my son. I stepped in the middle as I always did and he went for a shovel. When he picked it up I stood in front of him, daring him to hit me, he pushed me down and I screamed. The scream caught a neighbor�s attention who stood up and said "Hey". That scared Chuck and he took off. I never saw him again. The cops took us to womans shelter who in turn helped us to get back to California.
It took about a year to get my life right, keep thinking I had to clean my life up before going to God...wrong. When I finally found a church I knew I was at home, the people where so warm and welcomed my family. The second visit I gave my life to the Lord. I still had plenty in my life to straighten out. I quit doing speed that weekend but it took a month to stop smoking weed. You see I kept telling myself when this bag of weed is gone I�ll get saved, that bag would go and I would buy another�well when this bag is gone. It went on like this until I finally realized God would accept me no matter how much weed I had at home. I was trying to quit on my own and Satan was messing with me telling me I couldn�t give my life to the Lord as long as I was sinning by smoking weed. Then God got a hold of me, He told me that if I would give my life to Him them He would help me with my sin. It didn�t happen over night. About a month after giving my life to God I was smoking my weed, as usual and a knock came to my door. When I opened it a gun and badge was staring at me. The smoke billowed over the parole officers� head, he was looking for someone who used to live there but I knew one little phone call and I would lose my children for good.
That was the last time I smoked weed.
About Chuck, I said I never saw him again. Well about 8 months after giving my life to the Lord, Chuck died in a stupid car accident. He was drunk and was car surfing (riding on the hood of a car like he was riding ocean waves). He fell off and bumped his head on the curb and after a 2 week coma he died. They say (the people around him at the time) that he was working on a roofing job and he was going to use the money to come and find us, most likely to finish what was started that last night in Oklahoma. Chuck had been to a revival a few weeks before he died, God will call you just so many times then He will let Satan have you, I believe this is what happened to Chuck. Chuck refused to give his life to the Lord after being called and God knew he was going to hurt us so He took him out of our lives for good.
Today I am getting divorced for the 3rd time, but I am not worried. God has a awesome plan layed out for me. If I never find true love or happiness with a man that is OK cause I know the Lord my God loves me more then any earthly man can. I am comforted knowing He is in control of my life and whatever happens to me I know it is His will being done and not my own.
I do have a special someone in my life, whatever is to come of our relationship is in Gods hands!

Well that is my testimony.