| Johnnyleen's Maxims and Pithy Sayings |
| Dear Friends, one cannot be as fantabulous as I am without having some sort of philosophy to live by. And JOHNNYLEEN definitely has various sets of bons mots that kind of express his outlook on things, but it would be very difficult to sum it all up in a mission statement. I also have pithy sayings that I privately think to myself when confronted with morons and other unfantabulous people who try to burst my fantabulosity bubble. So without further ado, here are some words to live by. (By the way, feel free to use any of them you want in your daily life. Just make sure you credit me with them, because they're true originals, like myself.) If you don't like being around me, then go drink at some other bar. My life is mine and your life is yours. Let's keep it that way. I don't talk about work after work. In fact, I generally don't talk about work at work. I don't feel your pain. Beauty may only be skin deep, but I don't have the time to perform an autopsy to find yours. You could be fantabulous, too, if you wanted to. For starters, stop whining, pick up a mirror, and brush your damned hair! I don't have a career. I have a job. My Drunken Brunch Sundays and fantabulous jet-setting trips are far more important to me than thinking of whose butt I'm going to kiss next. Yes, life can be inconvenient and right now you're being one of those inconveniences. No, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I ate with a plastic one for many years. You are not better than me. I' m actually better than you; I'm just too much of a gentleman to say it. Yes, your children are adorable. But they'd be even more adorable if you had left them at home. Jealousy is a device by which the unfantabulous justify their lack of effort. If you had listened to your mama, maybe things would be better for you. If you think I give a crap, then you've mistaken me for an ass. Go back to important matters Go back home |