| A man I loooaaathe |
| Dear Friends, at first I was going to write about Judge Roy Moore down in Mobile, Alabama, but I realized I couldn't possibly make the situation amusing. As you all know, I've mentioned on other pages that I want my website to bring a smile to people's lips and a spark of fantabulosity to their otherwise drab lives. So instead of Roy "Holier than Thou" Moore, I've decided to write about a guy at Ye Olde Watering Hole, whom I absolutely loooaaathe. "What?" I can hear you all say. "JOHNNYLEEN! We can't believe you loathe anyone!" Well, Dear Friends, it's true. Let me narrate for you the story of "The Ass in the Hat". Sometime last fall, I think it was, I was at Ye Olde Watering Hole and Sally and I were standing there talking. There was this guy sitting at the bar beside us wearing a fedora. He had ordered a hamburger and was chowing down. Anyhoo, I put my hand down on the back of my chair where my coat was and felt something sticky all over my coat. I then realized that ketchup was all over it. Then I saw that I had ketchup on myself as well and Sally had some on her, too. I said, "There's ketchup on my coat! Where in the world did it come from?" The guy in the fedora looked up and said, "Oh, I was shaking the ketchup bottle and the lid flew off." Then he went back to eating. No apology, no offer to pay for my or Sally's dry cleaning, nothing, nada, nichts, zip, zero, zilch! Sally and I just stared at one another at a loss for words. Dear Friends, please tell me that all of you have enough class to realize that if you spill something on someone, you offer to pay their cleaning bill! Or in instances where you knock over someone's drink, you say, "I'm so sorry! Please allow me to pay for that drink and buy you a second one." The worst part of it all is that this guy thinks he has class. He always wears a tie and a shirt with cuff links (as does JOHNNYLEEN) and he also wears that fedora hat I've mentioned. However, he doesn't take the hat off indoors until maybe a few hours after his arrival. Now JOHNNYLEEN isn't that disturbed by the wearing of a hat indoors, although one would think that someone with such an overblown opinion of himself would know that little etiquette rule. But JOHNNYLEEN just can't forget that this guy doused him and Sally with ketchup and didn't even bother apologizing. To make matters worse, the regulars at Ye Olde Watering Hole don't seem to understand what the problem is. When I first mentioned the incident to one of them, he said, "JOHNNYLEEN, it was just an accident. He's a nice guy. Give him a break." My response was, "Nice guy or not. I had to take time out of my day to take my coat to the dry cleaner's, pick it up on another day, and then pay the bill for it. Someone who parades himself around like a gentleman should have at least apologized rather than going back to burying his hideous puss in his hamburger!" On top of that there have been other instances of unpleasant encounters between Hat Man and me. However, when I typed them out for your cybertronic viewing, I ran out of room and had to save them as a separate page. Don't worry though, because I will publish those encounters in all their repulsive glory at a later time. Who knows? Perhaps he'll do even more crude things that I can write about. Lordie! Go to important matters Go back home |