| September 11, 2004 - Transgendered! |
| Dear Friends, I bet you thought the title of my entry today meant that I was undergoing a sex change. Not so, it's merely the lead-in for my story of what happened to me on Wednesday. Now, some of you already know that I've been taking a swing dancing class on Wednesday evenings. Since the class doesn't start until 7:00, I've been stopping off at this little bar attached to a hotel for a few drinkie-wa-tinkies to get my dancing feet all jazzed up prior to the lesson. Well, this past Wednesday I was sitting there having my Sam Adams Summer Ale special, when this very mannish woman came up and asked if the stool next to mine was taken. I immediately thought "lesbian" or "gymnastics coach". She looked a lot like that Amazonian character Vera da Milo that Jim Carrey used to play on "In Living Color". So she sat down and ordered some food and tasty alcoholic beverage. After a while a blonde woman came in and sat two stools to Vera's right and they struck up a conversation with one another. The blonde said she was from Finland and, of course, JOHNNYLEEN had to pipe up and say, "I couldn't help but overhear you're from Finland. I really, really like Helsinki. I've been there three times." So we chatted a couple of minutes about Helsinki, but it became obvious that Vera really didn't care that I had joined in the conversation. I thought, "OK, I see what this is all about" and promptly shut up and turned back to watching the TV placed above the bar. So after a bit, I heard Vera say, "Well, in my support group that I attended while transitioning from a man to a woman, blah, blah, blah." Dear Friends, the little lightbulb went off in my head and I realized that's why Vera had such hairy arms! Then she told the Finn that she was lucky to have a boyfriend who majored in Sociology, which made me wonder if he viewed their relationship as some sort of clinical experience. Well, then the Finn excused herself to go to the pottie. Vera turned to me and said, "Life is just so funny, isn't it?" I asked her what she meant and she said, "When I was a boy, I only liked boys. Now that I'm a girl, I'm finding myself interested in other girls. This blonde woman is just so beautiful and her date has stood her up. Who would do that? I really want to ask her out. What should I do?" I really wanted to say, "What? You're asking my advice now? You should have asked my advice before you had your cojones chopped off and I would have told you that you wouldn't make an attractive woman." But instead, JOHNNYLEEN, being the gentleman he is (definitely a rare breed these days), said, "Well, ask her to dinner. It might not turn into anything physical, but she has come out expecting to hang out with someone." The Finnish girl came back and I heard Vera ask her to dinner, but I couldn't hear the response. Then she said, "You're just so beautiful. I can't believe how beautful you are. I talked to my boyfriend a minute ago on my cell and he told me to have a good time with my little, blonde friend." Now, I don't know if he said that or not. She did get a phone call at one point, but I wasn't really listening to it. At any rate, 6:55 finally, finally rolled around and I was able to get the hell out of Dodge. Now, Dear Friends, I have nothing against transgendered people. JOHNNYLEEN is all for the Pursuit of Happiness. If chopping off your ding ding dong and having a woo-woo constructed is what you want, by all means do it. Hell, if you want to have three woo-woos constructed to triple your pleasure, go for it! I just have a problem with people spilling out the most intimate details of their lives in public. It's a trend that I've noticed a lot in society these days, as though everybody else is there as some Father Confessor providing the sort of soul-stroking that angst-riddled folks seem to need. "Wow!" you may exclaim. "You have a public webpage, JOHNNYLEEN! Isn't that being a bit hypocritical?" Not at all, because if you think about it, I've never really talked much about my private life. I did describe the proctoscopy that one time, I must admit, but that was written as a way to make you, my dear, dear readers, laugh and wince at the same time. And I promise to continue doing just that! Gaaaarawnteeed! Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |