| August 9, 2003 - My website isn't pretty, I know |
| Dear Friends, as I've looked around at other people's websites, I've come to the realization that mine is not very pretty (or purty as we say down Souf'). I see all these great pages where people have interesting photographs of themselves, their friends, and the items on their desks, whereas I, the fantabulous JOHNNYLEEN, have nothing of the sort to offer you. Well, actually I have scanned one picture in, but I haven't posted it yet because I want to do a collage of photos for your cybertronic eyes and viewing pleasure. "When will that happen?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you. I'm not sure. I have interesting photographs just like everyone else, but you have to scan them in and put them on the page and put little subtitles on them so people will know what they are, blah, blah, blah and I just don't really have a lot of time to do that, what with all the fantabulous activities I have on my daily schedule. I'm sure all of you have noticed that I hardly wrote at all while I was in fantabulous Scandinavia and my writing since then has only been once or twice a week. Now, if I had time would I make my website purtier? I really don't know, for a variety of reasons. The first reason is that when you, my Dear Friends, log into my site, I want you to read about my fantabulous life, not concentrate on various ClipArts and Emoticons or pictures of my nether regions flashing and whizzing about on the page. I want you to fully appreciate my wit and fantabulosity. My second reason is I don't want to obsess over placing things just so on the webpage. As it is now, I've had to re-arrange my diary entries and I resented every minute of it. Do any of you realize how much time that takes? And if I don't have any alcohol in the house to quench the thirst that Internet Webbery builds up, then the time seems to be even longer! Yes, pity me, pity me, your own Dear JOHNNYLEEN! And to make matters worse, as I work on my webpage, the phone rings incessantly with those damned telemarketers calling. But do I have my number put on that National Do-Not-Call Registry? No, I don't, because I get a secret thrill from letting the answering machine pick up and knowing that they're getting all frustrated that no one's answering. Before I had an answering machine, there was one woman who called on a daily basis. She would ask, "May I speak with Mr. JOHNNYLEEN?" And I would always answer, "I'm sorry, he's not here right now." And then one day she called and before I could tell her I wasn't at home, she said, "I know, Mr. JOHNNYLEEN, you're not home right now." The nerve! Can you believe I actually felt guilty though? That bitch! How dare she make me, the fantabulous JOHNNYLEEN, feel guilty! Now the third reason for not beautifying my page is that I'm a bit lazy. I don't want to sort through borders, and colors, and images, etc. I would end up doing a half-assed job of it and we wouldn't want that now, would we? So I guess you'll just have to deal with my website the way it is and absorb my fantabulosity through my stories. So there! Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |