| August 22, 2005 - 100% Pure Love |
| Dear Friends, what a Sunday I had! It started out miserable, but the most amazing thing happened that made it all better. First things first; I went to yoga and thought I was going to vomit before it was all over. Then I walked home in dreadful heat, changed clothes, and then walked to the subway. I had to wait 15 minutes for a bloody train and then, when one finally arrived, there was no air conditioning! So I sat on this stifling train trying to read the paper all the while with this heavy set man sitting next to me, whose arm kept brushing against me. That just made the heat even more unbearable. Oh, but it gets better dear friends! At one stop a woman got on who had obviously just come from church. "Praise the Lord," she yelled. "Everybody be needin' Jesus! Hallelujah!" Then she turned to some girls who were giggling at her and said, "Stop that foolishness! You laugh now, but Jesus is going to come down from heaven and strike you dead. We'll see who's laughing then." Her sermon was periodically interrupted by sounds like, "blalalalalala". I was like "What the F***?" and then suddenly I realized she was speaking in tongues! Lordie! Well I finally made it to my destination and wanted to eat. I was feeling quite sick; I think I was on the verge of heat stroke. So I stopped at a restaurant to grab some dee-lish eggs benedict. Now the restaurant is kind of small, so you can see everyone and hear what they're talking about. The waiter went over to a table and said to the woman there, "I love you. Will you marry me?" And she said, "I love you, too." He then turned to me and said, "Do you recognize this woman here?" And I answered that I didn't. And he said, "Well, this is Crystal Waters." And I yelled, "Crystal Waters? As in '100% Pure Love' Crystal Waters!" Well, my dears, it was indeed Miss Crystal Waters! We chatted a bit and I told her how much I loved "100% Pure Love", yaddy yada yada and that I was going to write about my encounter with her on my webpage. She didn't ask for the web address, so I felt it would be rude to push it off on her. So as I was leaving, I said, "Well it was nice meeting you." And she said, "I hope I'll see you again some time." And I said, "I hope so, too." And she said, "Well be careful in that heat out there Johnnyleen." And I said, "Oh I'm not worried; I'm off to go drinking." She laughed and that was that. So the day turned out fantabulous after all. And I went running around to everyone saying, "I just met Crystal Waters." I let my friend, K., know about it today and he said, "I wish I had been there! And I was free yesterday, too. I was just sitting at home watching movies." And I said, "Well, I know that Crystal (my bosom buddy as K. calls her now) goes to this particular restaurant fairly often, so we'll have to start doing a little Celebrity Stalking." On a less glamorous note, a few weeks ago I was at my pilates class when this woman noisily cut the cheese. I understand how easily that can happen because you're rolling all over the place with your stomach sucked in. Well my Schadenfreude that at least it wasn't me came to an end on Saturday. As I was rolling around, suddenly one slipped out! It sounded like a firecracker had gone off in my ass and I was terribly embarrassed! I sheepishly murmured, "Oh, excuse me!" and then continued on with my exercise. How totally unfantabulous! Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |