| March 25, 2006 - My friend is in "Playgirl" |
| Dear Friends, I just got back from Atlanta Monday afternoon. I had a great time, but I have to tell you that I've never stayed in such a luxurious hotel before in my life. As you recall, my friend J. and I had reservations at the Four Seasons, which also included breakfast each day up to $57 or so. Believe me, that $57 was a good thing, because even just simple eggs and bacon cost an arm and a leg. Anyway, we were on the 18th of 19 floors with a great view out over a bunch of other buildings that I couldn't identify. The bathroom was, of course, marble with a separate shower and tub. There were all kinds of soaps and shampoos, blah, blah, blah. Now to show you what a bumpkin I really am, I'll tell you that later that night, after we came back from the downstairs bar, I opened the door and said, "J., someone's been in our room! Things have been moved around!" And J. said, "JOHNNYLEEN, this is the Four Seasons, they come in to prepare your room for the night." My dears, they had put little rugs by the bed so our feet wouldn't have to touch the dirty carpet. And they had put a washcloth on the sink and laid out all of my shaving stuff, etc. on it in little rows. And they had turned on the clock radio to some soft music station. It truly was nice, but it definitely is nothing I'm used to, simple farmboy that I am. While in Atlanta, my sister hooked up with us and we went to see a musical called "Menopause the Musical". It was funny, but nothing of the caliber of a Broadway show. Anyhoo, there was a busload of senior citizens in the front two rows who had come in from Henderson, NC and I wondered to myself what they were going to think of a musical that dealt with menopause (although I'm sure all of the senior women in the group had already gone through their own menopauses). Well, dear friends, let me just tell you that some of them laughed and laughed while others looked very stern-faced. There was one point in the musical where one of the actresses sings into a dildo and many of the little old ladies looked very disapproving at that. As we left the theater, I said to J. and my sister, "I was watching those little Baptist ladies during the dildo act and they didn't seem very amused." And my sister said, "I noticed that, too." And I said, "I couldn't tell if they were offended or if they just didn't understand what a dildo was." That made us all laugh, to be sure. Now, J. and I at one point went to a bookstore and were looking around. Suddenly J. said, "JOHNNYLEEN, come here!" So I went over to the magazine rack where he was and he said, "Look at this." He had pulled out a "Playgirl" magazine and opened it to a specific page, where there he was in all his glory! My friend J. is in "Playgirl"! Can you believe that? He had told me that he had sent in pictures to them and that they were going to be published, but I was kind of like, "Yeah, whatever." But yep, he got published. I have to say he's got guts; I could never do it, mainly because the guts I have are of the beer belly kind and not the courage kind. So he told me all of his female students (he works in a gym) have been buying the "Playgirl" issue and asking him to autograph it, which he willingly does, signing his picture with "I did this just for you". Now, dear friends, you know I'm buying my apartment, right? The landlord is giving back to me 25% of all the rent I've ever paid, which will be about $40,000. I've been agonizing lately though over how I was going to pay the closing costs, which will be about $7,000. I had already given up the idea of going to Germany for my birthday and have been ready too to give up going to Sweden again this summer. And I was thinking of reducing my 401K contribution (I put in 13%) in order to get the $7,000. Well, suddenly yesterday as I was headed out for vodka, it occurred to me that I could use part of the $40,000 to cover the closing costs! Can I be any denser? I must have been quite worried about the whole deal, because I suddenly felt a huge sense of relief. I swear sometimes I don't think I could analyze my way out of a paper bag! Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |