| March 23, 2004 - Trauma for JOHNNYLEEN |
| Dear Friends, recently I noticed in the newspaper an ad that said, "Have you recently suffered a trauma?" with a 1-800 number listed that you could call for counseling. I was very tempted to call, because I had a trauma a little over a week ago. However, I decided not to, because my trauma was of a cosmetical nature and I was afraid they would laugh at me. But you, my dear readers, are waiting breathlessly to hear about the trauma I suffered, I just know it. Two Saturdays ago the Torturer sent an email asking if she could come a bit early. I had an appointment to get my hair cut, so that kind of put a squeeze on time, but I told her it would be fine. Now JOHNNYLEEN must confess that when he gets a haircut, he also has it colored a slightly darker brown that it is naturally. That means of course that the eyebrows have to get colored, too. Unfortunately, the place where I have my hair cut will not dye eyebrows, so I have to get those done at a different salon. Now, a few months ago, the guy who colors my eyebrows, I'll call him Thad, had noticed that my brows were extremely bushy and suggested that he be allowed to wax them. I went ahead a let him and ever since, he's been waxing and coloring my eyebrows with no problem. Needless to say, I was totally unprepared for the pain waxing entails and it made me ever so thankful that I'm not a woman, what with bikini waxes and other painful stuff. But I'm used to it now even though the sound of the cloth pulling away is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Since the Torturer was coming early and I had this hair appointment, I was afraid I wouldn't have time for the brow thingie, so I ducked in there really quickly on my way to the haircut appointment and asked if Thad could take me right there and then. Well, he did, but mind you, the owner of the salon, Jonah, recently repainted the interior of the salon a dark reddish-orange color so the lighting in there isn't nearly what it should be for a business that colors people's hair. After Thad was finished with me, I looked in the mirror in that dark ol' salon and everything looked fine. But when I got to the other salon for the hair appointment, I looked in the mirror and almost fainted! Dear Friends, my left eyebrow was shaped and colored fine, but the right one had a severe arch to it and some of the color had gotten into my skin! I asked my hairstylist, Josephine, if anything could be done. She said the right side of my face looked like Groucho Marx and she wasn't certain what she could do, but that she would try. She took a little color remover and dabbed it around the arch and then began plucking eyebrow hairs like a farmer plucking carrots at harvest time. I was so traumatized by this whole event that I came storming into work on Monday morning and went straight to a friend's desk to tell him all about the whole ordeal. He said, "JOHNNYLEEN, it's just so difficult being you." How right he is! I say that all the time, but I don't think anyone ever believes me because of the fantabulous life I lead. But it's so true, Dear Friends, maintaining fantabulosity takes a lot of time and energy! Now for a funny story. I went out for Drunken Brunch Sunday yesterday and was drinking with a guy I know named Ted. He was telling me about a guy who works in his office who's originally from Spain. I'll call him Alfonso. This is the conversation they had. Imagine Alfonso with a Spanish accent. A.: You know, I don't have a single drop of Anglo-Saxon blood in my body. And I'm very proud of that, because do you know what my people call your people? T.: No, what? A.: They call you "barbarians"! T.: Oh, well do you know what my people call your people? A.: No, what? T: "The hired help". I thought that was hysterically funny. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |