| November 10, 2003 - My first negative guestbook submission |
| Dear Friends, today I received, and approved for posting, my first negative guestbook submission! You'll have to go view it; it's from someone named Mr. Ordinary. I feel like I've finally arrived in the upper echelons of web journalists now that I've got a negative comment. Hurrah for me! Plus it proves what Cicero said: "De gustibus non disputandum", i.e. "There's no accounting for taste". First let me say that as I read the posting, a precious saline tear fell from my eye and landed on my keyboard with a resounding splat. "Boo hoo!" I cried. "Boo hoo! Someone has said he won't read me ever again!" After I calmed myself down, I re-read through bloodshot, watery eyes the reason why Mr. Ordinary won't read me again. According to him, it's not fantabulous to criticize everyday people. Everyday people? OK, let me see: a man offers me a booger in a park; there's a woman who always wears a barette right in the middle of her forehead; a bum pinched me on the butt and chased me down the street; I find religious fanatics ridiculous; I run from energy vampires; a man noisily licks all of his fingers in a restaurant every single time he's there; Idi Amin, after killing thousands of people, is dead; Queen Elizabeth has some spoiled children; a drunk complains that it's difficult for a black man to get a white woman to sleep with him; a beggar tells me he hopes I choke on my lunch because I don't give him any money; a woman rides up an escalator whinnying like a horse; the in-bred inhabitants of a small Southern town would still like to be using "Ye Olde Reedinge Booke" (1639 edition) if it were widely available; a girl and her grandfather single-handedly convert a quiet hotel lobby into a Gospel tent revival; a guy wears chopsticks in his hair and tells everyone he'll always be a nobody; a woman believes that half a cup of water mixed with half a cup of Clorox is good for the digestion and that sheep can have human babies; a witchy first grade math teacher terrorizes her helpless charges by yelling at them if they throw up in class; a band vocalist can't stay in key and only retains an audience by wearing peek-a-boo clothing; a drunken Icelander rams his head up against a bar and falls to the floor unconscious; etc., etc., etc. (Read my other diary entries for the details of these fascinating encounters with "everyday people".) Everyday people? "Folderol and fiddle-dee-dee!" I say. If that's the case, then Our Great Nation and the world in general have become one huge helping of the Uncouth and the Unstable, with a side order of Privileged Royalty. Besides, life is full of criticism. It's there when we're born and it even lasts till after death, as in "He left his money to her? That bastard!" So while Mr. Ordinary is free to turn away from my fantabulous webpage and ignore my fantabulous adventures, I'm sure the rest of you, My Loyal Readers, will continue to read about Fantabulous JOHNNYLEEN. Be certain to check in again soon, because this past weekend I encountered one of those "everyday people" that I'm so fond of criticizing! Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |