| Why I detest Celine Dion |
| Dear Friends, may I just tell you why I cannot stand Celine Dion? Is it her penchant for wearing trenchcoats during VHI Diva performances? Is it the schmaltziness of her songs? NO, dear Readers! It's none of the above. I detest Celine Dion because I cannot bear watching the faces she makes as she sings.....she grimaces like a deer caught in headlights! The fact that her face is soooo narrow and boney just heightens the unpleasant effect. Let me tell you about this one Diva concert I had the displeasure of viewing. Miss Dion came galloping out on stage like a newborn calf (all legs and everything) wearing an ankle length trenchcoat. If she had had a revolver, you would have sworn she was a member of the Dalton gang or something! She proceeded to belt out some song that I don't remember all the while glotzing at the camera with a surprised look on her face. Every now and then she'd twist her mouth to the right or to the left as though she were in great pain and then open her eyes wide in startlement again. It was actually fascinating in a way, much like the way you can't take your eyes off of someone having a seizure in a public place. I wonder if she could see herself on the monitors or if she later watched the concert. I can hear her mother now. "Celine, ma cher, mais you look byootiful thair in your traaaanchcoat. And you have such an expresseeeef face too! What mothair would not be proud of such a talented daughtair? And that eeees the way it eeees, guarawnteed!" Even you Celine-lovers out there (yes, you know who you are) must admit that she makes faces while she sings. Admit it! Admit it! And you also have to admit she has no sense of fashion. When was the last time you saw her looking fantabulous? Huh, when? Go to important matters Go back home |