Illogical, part 2

By Zoicyte aka Johnnyjosh

Rating; NC-17, just because all mine are rated NC-17! *LOL*

Warnings; Yaoi, some shounen-ai hints, language.

Notes; AU, Crossover, weirdness, TWT, No show plot is left intact! *LOL* OOC, just general insanity.

Sorry to any trekkies if there's inconsistencies here, I really need to watch the show more! And I don't know the exact size of an Oozaru, so sorry if I got that wrong too.

This is a response to my own challenge on my yahoo ML, DragonWing_Yaoi.

Pairings; hints at Spock/Vegeta. Yes...you heard right! Spock/Vegeta!!!

Ahm...this isn't beta read, so sorry for any mistakes and stuff, okay?

//Captain's log//

*thoughts*

"speaking"

Dende's lookout...

Piccolo sat floating in the air, legs crossed, arms folded as he meditated. The large Namek's eyes snapped open as he sensed a huge power level on the move. "What the hell...?" He muttered, uncrossing his legs and floating to the edge of the lookout. "That feels like Vegeta, sort of..." He narrowed his eyes and peered down. "OH SHIT! HOW THE HELL DID HE MANAGE THAT?!!" Piccolo roared.

"What?! Piccolo, what is it?" Dende raced over, nearly skidding off the edge of the lookout in his haste.

Piccolo snagged the smaller Namek by the back of his robes and steadied him. "Look down." He said simply.

"ACK! Oh no! I knew someone had used the dragonballs a few minutes ago, but I didn't think it would be Vegeta!" Dende cried, spinning and pacing back and forth in front of Mr. Popo's trees. "So he's still on that old kick is he?" He muttered, one hand stroking his chin as the other tapped his staff on the floor in time with his steps. "First, he's obviously wished his tail back, I sincerely hope he didn't use the second wish to gain immortality, otherwise we could have a real problem on our hands."

"A p...wha..? You don't consider this a real problem?" Piccolo sputtered.

Dende chuckled. "You must be getting forgetful in your old age." The young guardian snickered, as Piccolo whirled and bared his fangs at him. He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Piccolo! Think for a moment! All you have to do is cut off his tail, yes?" He giggled as Piccolo sweatdropped and raised a hand to rub at the back of his head.

"Aw, shaddup." Piccolo snapped, before turning and streaking over the edge of the lookout.

Spock followed the enormous ape-like creature, careful to keep out of sight, and out of range of his huge feet. He pulled out a digital recording device and began capturing footage of the man-turned-monster as he rampaged across what Spock now realized was a large island. He spoke into the microphone, keeping his voice low. "The creature seems to be content for the moment to move about the island. He appears to be testing out his strength and speed, throwing punches and kicks, and running and jumping. I am curious though, about how such a large creature can leap into the air, and appear to hover for several seconds." The Vulcan quirked an eyebrow. "I am going to continue following him, in the hopes that I can acquire some samples for later analysis." Spock's hands shot up to cover his ears, the Vulcan almost dropping his recording equipment, as Vegeta let out a series of ear splitting roars and shrieks. He managed to grab the microphone and hold it in the enormous ape's direction, frowning slightly as he realized that given the volume at which the creature could roar, pointing the mic was probably redundant.

The Vulcan's muscles tensed, eyes widening fractionally as the huge creature turned and seemed to look in his direction, glowing red eyes freezing the usually unflappable science officer in place. Just as he was about to run for cover, a loud, gruff voice rang out.

"Vegeta! What the hell are you up to now?" Piccolo shouted, floating in the air, arms folded as he scowled at the Oozaru.

"Well well, if it isn't the big green bean. Of course, you're not so big right now, are you?" Vegeta chuckled, snapping his teeth with a thunderous crack.

"Why the hell are you in that form? You can't possibly be planning on going on a rampage after all this time!" Piccolo frowned.

"No, you idiot, I don't have any intentions of going on some mindless rampage. I intend to wait for Kakarott to come and investigate, and give me a good fight. I will beat that third class fool, once and for all!" The Saiyan crowed, baring huge fangs at the Namek.

Piccolo sighed and dragged a hand down his face. "I can't believe you're still going on about beating Goku in a fight." He muttered, floating closer until he was nearly touching Vegeta's muzzle. "That's long past, Vegeta, you two are supposed to be on the same side, you're both defenders of the earth."

"No, that doesn't matter!" Vegeta roared, clenching his huge fists. "I am Vegeta, prince of all Saiyans, Kakarott is a third class idiot, I will defeat him!"

Piccolo sighed and floated back, shaking his head. "Fine, Vegeta. I don't care what you and Goku do, just as long as you're not running around trashing the cities like King Kong made real."

Spock made to step back, staring up at the floating green man. "Fascinating, he's floating in the air, with no apparent mechanical assistance. I must learn how he's capable of such a feat." He said quietly. His head snapped around, and he looked down as his foot slipped on some loose gravel, the sound painfully obvious to his own ears. The Vulcan looked around slowly, hoping the others hadn't heard, but his hopes were dashed, as he found both creatures looking directly at him.

"It would seem we have a visitor." Vegeta chuckled, stomping in his direction. "Maybe I'll have some fun with the nosy little human."

"Back off, Vegeta!" Piccolo streaked by him, landing in front of Spock, quickly noting his odd eyebrows, and pointed ears. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" He asked quietly.

"I am...Spock. Senior science officer on the star ship Enterprise. As to how I came to be here, I am not quite certain. I was inside a shuttlecraft, embarking on an away mission to Diridian M3162, when our shuttle was caught in an electromagnetic storm. A bolt of lightening appeared to have struck our craft, and then I simply...appeared here." Spock frowned slightly, tilting his head. "It is most...illogical."

"You should leave." The Namek pointed at the huge were-ape behind them. "As you can see, this is a very dangerous place to be, and it's about to get a whole lot worse..." Piccolo frowned, looking to the sky as he sensed Goku approaching quickly.

"Hey! Vegeta! What are you doing?!" Goku shouted, streaking through the sky and stopping within arm's reach of the Oozaru's face. "How'd you get your tail back?" He asked, tilting his head and looking at the other Saiyan in confusion, until Vegeta took a swat at him with one huge hand, sending him crashing into a cliff. "Hey...no fair..." Goku frowned, pulling himself out of a hole in the rock wall, before powering up to Super Saiyan. "I guess you're still intent on a good fight, huh? Well...alright then." He said, blasting into the air. "You asked for it!"

Spock watched, eyebrows raised, as the other man, the one he assumed was Kakarott, or Goku, went from having black hair, to blond, a bright glow surrounding his body as he shot through the sky, dodging the enormous ape's blows. "That is...that should be impossible, without having wings, or some kind of...propulsion device..." He said quietly.

Piccolo snorted. "You'd better stop studying, and start running. I'm getting you out of here, now. Then we can find out who you are, and find a way to get you back where you belong." He growled, blushing slightly as he found himself having to snap a thick arm around the stranger's waist, before preparing to take to the air.

Spock frowned and turned to look at the large, green man. "I do not wish to leave at this time." He said simply, reaching back with one hand and pinching the back of the man's neck.

Piccolo gasped as his vision dissolved to a solid sheet of white, before fading to black, as he collapsed to the ground, yet another victim of the infamous Vulcan nerve pinch.

Spock regarded the man curiously for a moment, before looking back toward the two fighting creatures, one eyebrow raising as he noticed a pool of blood off to his left. He looked up at the ape, and noticed blood running down it's muzzle.

Moving quickly, the Vulcan collected three vials of the thick fluid, a thoughtful expression on his face as he picked up an enormous hair, a hair that was easily as thick as his thumb, and as long as his arm. "Remarkable." He said quietly, rolling the hair up so it would fit in a plastic bag, before he set it, and the vials of blood, back in his bag for later analysis, settling down on a large rock and watching the still-raging battle between the now-blond Kakarott, and the large ape.

To Be Continued.....

*chuckles* Yeah yeah, I know, I have been really lazy with updates lately, and I'm sorry. Work and other real life stuff, and the rpg stuff I've been doing have all been settling down, so I'll have more time to write from now on, look for updates from me at LEAST once a month from now on, okay? *glomps*

JJ-san