Control
By: Rena "Sama" / 'the light'
10-13-00

Part II

Move damn it!! I he doesn't soon my body might betray me. I contemplate just grabbing him and fucking him right here on the floor in front of Buu. I wonder if I could make him turn a darker shade of pink.

+++

'A minute to harness his power' huh? I can do that. It's the least I can do. He's helped me so many times, saved the Earth numerous times. I've tried, but he always picks up the slack of my shortcomings. Only he can do it. Only he has every been able to. He's saved us all. He's shown me what friendship can really mean. He's melted the ice that froze around my heart, that up till now, has existed from as far back as I can remember.

Then, something in me snaps. I once though he and I were nearly equal in power. That being saiyajin we were one and the same. That perhaps one day I might pass him....pass everyone. But he....Kakarotto will always be superior in that way. In him exists one small thing that my tainted soul will never totally posess or even truly understand. Some unseen force, or entity that drives him to be who he is, gives him the stubborn will that can never be broken, allows him to be the victor time and again. This strange phenomenon...this strange thing that I would sell my very soul to get.

I am shocked at my initial reaction to my new revelation. Knowing I will never surpass him should make me furious. Or like I'm fnally admitting defeat. But no. I feel no anger. No hate burning in my chest. Just as if something important has suddenly been revealed to me. The torrent of thoughts and confusion that swam in my mind foryears became clear. That dawning comprehension like the sun cutting through the clouds and kissing the wet earth after a storm.

This thing that I cannot even begin to name is what truly separates us.

He is stronger.

For once I can see that with eyes unclouded by hate or pride.

Kakarotto you are number one!

+++

Buu is finally defeated. Every trace of him gone. Kakarotto has won. As I already knew he would. At least this time I can say I had a hand in protecting the place I now call home. To everyone's surprise, the Genki Dama that ultimately defeated him was my idea. I smirk at my own brilliance. But Kakarotto is the one who pulled it off. I see you out of the corner of my eye as you slowly decend back to the ground to stand over me. I have to crane my neck to look up to you. It seems strangely symbolic. We give each other thumbs up, Job well done. Perhaps now Earth won't be in constant danger. Maybe we can actually live normal lives. Maybe now our inscesant training for possible threats will cease. There's no reason for him to go anymore. Maybe now he will stay here

...with me.

But as we return to Kami's lookout I realize that wishfull thinking cannot be a reality. Not now. As we rejoin our families and friends, I look at Kakarotto's sobbing, hysterical wife who is so overjoyed to finally have him back after all this time. She throws her arms around his waist and cries her happiness into his orange gi. At that moment I actaully feel jealous. I envy her and her hold on him. Her right to hold him, to have him, to love him. In all, the feeling should not be new to me. To always want but never get. The I remember, I have someone to love, and someone who loves me. I look down at Buuruma's beautiful, smiling face. But somehow, that knowledge did little to improve my mood.

No. I can't have what I want...who I want. As we returned to our Capsel Corp. home I wondered if I ever would.

+++

I felt my dream slowly slipping away. When I first set out to best Kakarotto and make him mine, I expected it to be reality in a reasonable amount of time. But it has been years, decades even. I pondered our many adventures as I let the showers warm spray cascade down my back. I remember when I bared my soul to him. After Babidi's magic I could go back to my former, cold, unfeeling self. That somehow that way I was happier. More true to myself. "Are you sure?" he asked. I wasn't sure...about that and a lot of things.

I think back even further to our first encounter. It was so long ago. But I'll never forget it. He had beaten me, but spared me when Kuririn poised the sword over my throat. Spared me so he could defeat me with your own hands later. Since then he have always been on my mind. It was that day that altered the course of my life forever.

That day I first became obsessed with him.

Do you think of me as I think of you? It seemed that maybe you did share my feelings. Your glances, stares, odd choices of words, and touches a little too frequent to be coincidence. So we fought. All the time. Fighting was always our excuse to touch each other because no other was available. But it's not enough anymore. I want more. I don't want his caresses hidden in battle.

I want to feel his heat.

I want to wrap my legs around him.

I want him on me.

I want him in me.

+++

Kakarotto has eluded my grasp yet again. He has gone to train some child he met at the tournament. I forget his name. Something about Buu being reborn. I could care less about that. I was too busy staring at his muscles flex under your loose fitting clothes as he walks. The cloth barely covering his beauitful, creamy flesh. Flimsy material. All it would take is a small flick of my wrist. The clothes would be no more and I would see all they tried to hide from my hungry eyes. I lick my lips. What am I thinking?! I look up after feeling his gaze burn into me. I had been all but drooling as your prattled on about something.

"See something you like?" Kakarotto say in a low tone so the others would not hear. A small knowing smirk graces you face. Bastard. He knows how I burn for him. He must get some kind of sadistic pleasure from this. Draging my mind out of the gutter I finally listen to what he's saying. Instead of watching his lips as they form the words.

Uubu huh? So he's leaving. Again. But he's only going to train that brat. He's pretty strong already. How long could it take?

+++

Several longs years had passed. HIs constant absence taking it's toll on my patientce. It's been an eternity since I''ve seen the spiky haired fool. Has he forgotten me? Could his love of fighting be that great? I see how that shrew of a wife of his feels when he pulls this disappearing act to go train. I never thoght I'd see the day. I, the prince of the great saiyajin comparing my self to that harpie. But it's true. Our situations are so alike. We sit brooding, and pining away for Kakarotto's return. Wanting nothing more than a little attention from him. Loving him despite his foolish ways and perpetual flightiness.

I know Chichi must have been angry when he finally returned. But as for me..

I'm furious.

I don't think I've been this angry in such a long time. He vanishes off the face of the earth for what seems like countless years and now he returns in the body of a child.

I think fate gets a kick out of fucking with my life.

Or maybe just Dende...green bastard.

+++

It almost seems like a dream when this all first began. More like a nightmare. How long had I been chasing after him? Longing for him like those idiot females I see chase around my son. It sickens me to compare my self to them. But we are not so different.

He's made me set aside my pride. In a way, my feelings for him have made me forget who I am.

"I am the prince of the Saiya Planet. The number one soldier in the universe. It's impossible to go above me!" I say aloud. But that isn't true. It may have been once. Kakarotto has always been one step ahead of me. He had..has something I want. He IS something I want. I thought but one day defeating him I would calm that stirring of my pride to be the best, and the stirring in my loins to be sated. "Since I met Kakarotto all I can think of is defeating him. I did everything for that purpose."

But now he's ascended even further. "Ore ga kondo wa suupa saiyajin ni four datto?! Tsukiyadenteeee!" (Now he's gone super saiyajin level FOUR!? Give me a fucking break!)

+++

Things have changed. Too many times I've tried and failed to beat him. To bed him. Every day another obstacle erects itself like an impenetrable wall between me and what I desire. I realized this some time ago. Since then I've gotten over Kakarotto. I won't chase after him anymore. Grabbing hold of my dream is like trying to hold water in my bare hands.

My dream has slipped through my fingers for the last time.

Never again...

+++

"What are you doing there Buruuma?" I ask as I walk into one of her many labs and shut the door.

"Kore?...Buruutsu Ha no sei so ji" (This? It's the Blue Wave Machine.) "Blue Wave?" I mimic. I never really paid much attention to her wacky contraptions. This one sounds especially strange. "Yes..it's the same one I made to help Beibi turn Oozaru.." she explains in a rather matter-of-fact tone. "Hmm?" I have little memory of when Beibi took over my body. Thank god...well Dende.

"You'll be able to go level four too." she says, probably with a smirk too. I don't have a chance to look after I spit out the cola I was drinking all over the computer screen in shock. A small golden ray of hope shines clear through the darkness of my mind.

"Hn! Good! Kakarotto you can go level 4, 5, or 6 if you want! But I'll be right there too!"

So much for not chasing him, my mind says smugly. But when Kakarotto's involved I have always been one to hold on to the slimmest chance.

I'll beat you yet!

+++

Finally...I've reached his level. I'm on par with him...worthy of him.

Suupa saiyajin level four is even more amazing that I imagined. It's a heady rush. But still nothing compared to the feeling of being equal to him. To see his approving smile and his now gold eyes travel up my leather clad body. Get an eyeful Kakarotto?

+++

"You are great Bejiita." I look his new form up and down appreciatively. He even makes fur look good. It matches perfectly with the lather pants that cling so tightly and seductively to his delectable ass. Something I've wanted to give a good squeeze for a long time. He looks like sex in leather when I catch a hint of an erection through his too tight clothing. I watch his new tail sway enticingly from side to side. I had to suppress the urge to go and grab it. Every muscle, every contour, a feast for the eyes. Mine travel up to his handsome face as I lick my lips. His gaze mirroring the pride, longing and love in mine. Just looking at him makes me hard. Makes me burn.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Kakarotto." Bejiita says simply.

Waiting? I feel like I've been waiting forever! Even simply to see him again. If it's not one thing, it's another. Being in a child's body had been such a bother. I know how it upset him. But level four remedied that problem.

Now finally we are together again. Fighting side by side again. Just as we were meant to. With our new power we can't fail. We turn back towards the patiently waiting Isshinron. Our strongest foe yet.

Zettai ni makenai!

"Lets go together Bejiita!"

+++

I knew the only way we would succeed is if we used fusion. "Well what are we waiting for!? Are we gonna do it or not!?!" I yell, tired of waiting. I just want to beat this fool and get back to more important things. For some reason Kakarotto finds this very funny. "Nani okashii!?" (what's so funny?) "Hn, hn...nothing....it's just funny that you would be the one to suggest that." I got the double meaning right away. How did that one slip by me? Must be my subconscious. "Che...kudaran.." (stupid) I muttered as I got into position. I suppose it is strange. I usually vehemently scorn fusion. The pose is so shameful, it's embarrassing. But now...if it means I can be near him, I'd do anything.

+++

Damn it! Fusion only last 10 minutes in this form! Why did we waste all that time!? my mind screams. Now our chance is slim to none! "Why don't we just try the fusion again Bejiita?" he asked as if it was no big deal. Not that again...I still have my pride!

"Are you suggesting we do those shameful poses again!?" I yell grabbing his arms and trying to shake sense into him. "What's so wrong with fusing?" he asks innocently enough, except for the gleam in his eyes. I realize I'm standing far closer than necessary. I feel heat prickling my face. It must have been beet red. "N..no! I won't do those poses again!"

Again...Isshinron waits for our little squabble to end before he resumes the fight again. Odd.

+++

Why am I being put through this? my mind whines. Again Kakarotto has suggested some silly tactic. He's so foolish sometimes. How can I even stand it? Again I shake some sense into him. He just lets me do it. I yell something at him, but I didn't hear my own voice. He looked down at me with smoldering eyes. I stopped in mid sentence when I realized my hands were not on his arms but his chest. His gaze burned into me. This is the third time I stopped the fight to grab him and yell. Why can't I keep my hands off him? Treacherous body!

Why am I being put through this?!!! I frantically tried to decide on screwing him blind...or fighting the dragon and living to see another day.

The decision is made for me.

"HEY! Enough already!!!" Isshinron pipes up all of a sudden. I suppose he's should be tired of our...my little touching games by now. "I won't be ignored again!" he bellows.

Shit...now he's pissed.