A hazy shade of green, part 6.

By Zoicyte aka Johnnyjosh

Piccolo goes into heat, throwing the entire Z gang into emotional and sexual chaos.

Pairings: Piccolo x everybody (almost *LOL*).

Notes: Het, yaoi, lemon, extreme OOC, AU, late DBZ, humor, weirdness. Just for those who seem to have a problem with inconsistencies with my fic and the anime, that's why I put AU on it. Hello? Does the phrase ALTERNATE UNIVERSE mean anything to you? *snickers*

Rating: R for really lemony. *LOL*

Thanks to Lara for the inspiration, constant sporking, and always being there to help. *glomps* I luv ya babe!!

This fic is a multi pairing gratuitous lemon request fic for Larania Drake, my 2000^th visitor. Will be at least a 7 parter. (that's what I figure on so far, and does anyone see the running joke here yet? *grins* request one shot to the first person to figure it out.)

"Vegeta!" Goku cried, following the prince over the edge of the lookout. "Wait!" He grabbed his lover by the arm and forced him to a halt. "What's wrong?" He asked, staring into Vegeta's eyes anxiously.

"Wrong?" Vegeta snorted. "What could be wrong, besides the fact that I somehow had a kid with the green bean up there...and now I find out that you and I..." He turned away, voice raw with anger. "You and I, that day when we were sparring...it wasn't that we didn't remember having sex with each other, it was Piccolo we didn't remember sleeping with...are we..?" Vegeta growled, shaking off Goku's hand and flying away again.

Goku frowned and powered up to SSJ, streaking ahead and blocking Vegeta's path. "Are we what?" He asked, wrapping his large arms around the other Saiyan. Vegeta struggled for a moment, then ceased, resting his head against Goku's shoulder. "I had always wondered why we never remembered how we came to be lying on the ground, naked, wrapped in each other's arms that day three years ago." He said quietly. "I thought perhaps it had been a combination of hormones, instinct and emotions, and it was so intense and so overwhelming that we didn't remember...but now I see it was Piccolo. We...we must have slept together afterward because of some kind of after effect from the big green bean." Vegeta snarled softly, shaking with anger.

"Hmph. Wrong again Vegeta." Piccolo crossed his arms and scowled at them. "And don't call me that in front of the kids." He said, smirking as they both jumped.

"Get away from me." Vegeta hissed, struggling to break Goku's hold.

"Easy koi..." Goku whispered, nuzzling Vegetas hair. "What did you mean when you said he was wrong Piccolo?" Goku turned, eyes hard as he stared at the Namek.

"I mean your sleeping together had nothing to do with my phermones, they would have disappeared from your system before you woke up. You slept together of your own free will." He said softly.

"I don't believe it!" Vegeta cried, twisting around to face him. "If we were that far gone that we both slept with you, then we obviously had no control over ourselves!"

Piccolo rolled his eyes and decided to let the insult go. "Believe it Vegeta. Neither of you remember what happened, but I do. When I came into the clearing, and Goku ran to help me, he was exposed to my phermones. They made him go into a heat-like state as well, and he kissed me." He scowled at Goku, then continued. "You ran over and pulled him off me, and when you did, he turned and started rubbing his face against your stomach. By the time I managed to sit up, Goku had gone SSJ3, thrown you to the ground and was pulling off your clothes. He seemed to have completely forgotten about me." Piccolo crossed his arms and sniffed, looking insulted, then he sobered. "He was going to have his way with you Vegeta, whether you wanted it or not. And from the way you were screaming and fighting, it would have been rape." Both Saiyans were staring at him wide eyed. "I was still in control of myself, my own hormones hadn't taken over again yet, so I could have left, but I didn't. I knew I wasn't strong enough to stop Goku from taking you Vegeta, so I did the only thing I could think of. I distracted him so he came after me instead of you."

"R..rape?" Goku breathed softly. "No Piccolo..you're wrong! I wouldn't do that to Vegeta..to anybody..."

Vegeta's eyes narrowed as he stared at Piccolo. "So Kakarott was affected by your phermones.." He paused, thinking.

"But given a choice between you or me, he chose you Vegeta." Piccolo smirked. "You might not have been too happy about it at first, but I take it from the way you two hooked up afterward that all you needed was something to break the ice."

Goku titled his head to the side, thinking. "But Piccolo, if we got you pregnant....and that was why you came after us...then why..were we..um..sore?" Goku blushed wildly and buried his face in Vegeta's hair.

"Yes Namek.." Vegeta scowled at Piccolo, one arm looping around Goku's shoulders. "Explain to us why we were feeling as if we did have sex with each other." He snorted softly and wondered for the hundredth time how his mate could be so passionate in bed, yet so unwilling to actually talk about sex.

Piccolo's face turned purple as he quickly explained what he had done to them, finishing off with how he had pulled them together and set them in the position they woke up in.

"So.." Goku said shyly, hands caressing Vegeta's waist. "We..were still each others..first..that way.." he forced out a soft laugh.

"Yeah." Piccolo said, crossing his arms and turning his head up toward the lookout. "You were."

"Let me ask you a question Namek." Vegeta said quietly. "Who was your first?"

Piccolo sweatdropped and tilted almost sideways in the air, gaping at Vegeta. "What the fuck business is that of yours?" He growled, righting himself.

"I'm just curious to know who set you off the first time, although I suppose you would have two first times as well wouldn't you?" The prince smirked. "So...we already know Yamcha was one, you seem to be quite affected by the news of his return..so who was the first to take you as a female?"

Piccolo thought about it for several minutes, and just when they thought he wouldn't answer, he whispered one word. "Gohan."

The two Saiyans exchanged a look and sighed. "So you slept with both Videl and Gohan." Vegeta said quietly.

"Oh man..I'm not sure their marriage will take something like this.." Goku said, a worried expression on his face.

"Hn. We'll find out soon enough." Vegeta said. "Speaking of which, we need to check on the others I think." He grabbed Goku by the hand and dragged him back up to the lookout. "You know Namek..." Vegeta halted them, turning and giving Piccolo a strange look. "The only reason I don't kill you for this fiasco, is that you facilitated Kakarott and I getting together." He turned and dragged Goku ahead again.

"Your welcome." Piccolo smirked, following at a more sedate pace.

"Goten! Trunks!" Chi-Chi slapped both boys hard enough to redden their cheeks in an effort to get them to wake up.

"Owww! Mom! Cut it out!" Goten whined, lifting a hand and touching his sore cheek.

"That's alright, I'm fine now..." Trunks sat up quickly, cradling his cheek and wincing.

"Oh boys! Are you alright?" She cried, fussing over them.

Gohan opened his eyes slowly, a soft whimper escaping him as he looked into his wife's worried eyes and realized he was not having a nightmare. "It's real isn't it?" He croaked. I actually heard Piccolo say that we'd all...had..." He shuddered. "I...don't know." Videl whispered, turning her head away. "I don't know how it happened, I don't remember it...but..I'm sorry Gohan." She turned back, her eyes shimmering with tears.

"Oh...no..honey.." Gohan reached out and wrapped his arms around her. "No..it's not your fault.." He said softly, stroking her hair. "I don't remember doing what he says either, I..I'm sorry." He turned his head and glared death at Dende. "You knew about this didn't you?! That was the big secret you and Piccolo were keeping, that's the real reason Yamcha took the eggs and ran!" He cried. A low rumbling growl built in his chest when the guardian nodded. "Dende how could you?" He leapt to his feet, pulling a startled Videl with him.

"How could you keep all this from us?" Videl asked softly, burying her face in Gohan's chest and clinging to him.

Dende sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Piccolo and I thought it would be best if you, Chi-Chi and Bulma did not remember the mating, or the pregnancy and laying of the eggs, which was not particularly pleasant." He blushed.

"Well," Bulma butted in. "I think we all remember our own pregnancy and childbirth from our children here.... You had no right to keep this from everyone!" She shouted, stalking over and glaring at him, hands fisted on her hips. "These children that are coming here with Yamcha are ours, we should have at least been given a choice as to whether or not we wanted to have a hand in raising them. It was wrong for you to take them from us like that!"

"Right or wrong..." Vegeta snapped as he and Goku landed on the edge of the lookout. "It's done now. All that's left is to come to terms with it, and be ready to meet these offspring of ours."

Videl and Gohan looked into each other's eyes, the demi-Saiyan grasping his wife's hand tightly. "Don't worry." He whispered. "We'll get through this...somehow.."

Videl nodded, leaning forward and hugging him tightly, stifling a sob against his chest.

Trunks and Goten stalked over to Piccolo, both glaring daggers at him.

"You mean to tell me that both of us had sex with you?" Trunks seethed, secretly more angry that he had lost his virginity to the Namek rather than his crush. "That...Piccolo...how could this happen?!" Goten demanded. "I...I'm only twenty three...I'm too young to be a Dad! NO!" He shouted, lips twisted in a snarl. Trunks rushed forward and gently held on to his best friend.

"It's okay chibi...come on.." He said, hands gripping Goten's shoulders gently.

"Please, everyone, calm down!" Dende held his hands up, then gestured for them to come and sit on the steps. "I will try to explain everything."

Bulma and Chi-Chi were the first to sit down, followed by the anxious Gohan and Videl. Trunks and Goten slowly turned from Piccolo to follow the others, glaring angrily at Piccolo once more before walking away.

Finally, after two hours, many questions from Bulma, Trunks and Vegeta, several confused looks from Goku and Goten, a lot of harping and screeching from Chi-Chi, and a few tears from Videl and Gohan, Dende finally finished his explanations. "So that's it. That's how it all happened." Dende said quietly.

"So now in one week we're going to be bombarded with little rug rats." Vegeta sneered.

"Uh...well...not exactly..." Dende sweatdropped. "You see....Piccolo was fully grown by age three..and Yamcha says they all seem to have taken after him in that respect."

Bulma shot to her feet, eyes wide. "You mean to tell us these kids are going to be our size?" She demanded.

"Or bigger." Piccolo muttered, staying well back from the irate group of Saiyans and humans.

"We should all gather here in a weeks time to meet the children." Dende said.

Everyone nodded.

Goku stood, pulling Vegeta up with him and wrapping his arms around the prince. "So the kids are coming home to live with us now right?" He asked.

"That depends." Dende walked over to stand beside Piccolo.

"Depends?!" Chi-Chi screeched. "On what?"

"On your reactions." The guardian said simply. "If you seem to get along well with the children, and want them here, they will stay. If you don't want anything to do with them, they and Yamcha will go back to Namek."

Goten cocked his head to the side. "Why would Yamcha go back too?"

"Because he's the one that's been raising them for the past three years." Piccolo whispered.

"All eight of them?" Bulma giggled.

"Nine. One was Yamcha's as well." Piccolo turned away, eyes shimmering in the sunlight.

"Boy he sure has changed! I never would have thought he could be so....so..maternal." She grinned. "I'm glad to hear the kids had someone from here to tell them about their parents."

"Are you going to be alright?" Dende asked Videl and Gohan, who were still clinging to each other, tears in their eyes.

Gohan nodded, shutting his eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this." Dende whispered, looking at his longtime friend sadly.

"Oh..no Dende..I am a little pissed that you agreed to keep this from us..but no." Gohan shook his head and turned to glare at Piccolo. "This is YOUR fault!" He thundered, pointing a finger at Piccolo. "How could you do that to us? Come after us and do that to us?"

"Wha? Me...do..to YOU?" Piccolo hissed. "For your information Gohan, you were the one that dragged me out of the air, in Super Saiyan form I might add, pinned me down and started taking ME!" Gohan jerked and blushed furiously.

"And what about us?" Bulma asked, wanting to slap herself as soon as the words were out, but unable to quell her own curiosity. "Did we attack you too?" She wilted under a fierce glare from Chi-Chi and Videl. "Well...I was just asking!" She shouted, growling when Vegeta threw back his head and laughed.

Piccolo smirked. "Well, you were the most aggressive of the three Bulma." He said, voice tinged with amusement. The blue haired woman slapped her hands over her now beet red face and groaned in embarrassment.

Videl trembled with rage and pain. "How can you all laugh at a time like this!" She shrieked. "How dare you!" She shrugged off Gohans arms as he tried to restrain her.

"Videl..honey..come on now, let's go sit down..." Chi-Chi began, wanting to freak out herself but still trying to stay calm and absorb all Dende had told them.

"No, I DON'T WANT TO SIT DOWN!!" She hollered, twisting away from her husband and mother in law. "I WANT TO KNOW WHY HE DID THIS! WHY GOHAN AND I WERE COERCED INTO CHEATING ON EACH OTHER...AND..AND WHY MY CHILD WAS SENT AWAY!" She fell to her knees and leaned against Chi-Chi, who was instantly at her side. "I...I would have been mad then...but he..how could he make us not remember being pregnant...why did he take that baby and send it away? What right did he have to take my child and send it across the galaxy?" She whimpered, tears streaming down her face.

Vegeta had been staring at Videl during her tirade, his face flushing as veins began to bulge on his forehead.

"Koi..." Goku said softly, brushing a kiss across the ouji's temple. "Take it easy.."

"No I'm not going to take it easy dammit!" He shrieked, storming over and standing above the two women, glowering down at them. "I am so Kami-damn sick of you two going on about YOUR children, and how could he do this to YOU...he had no control over his actions, and neither did you! This was no one's fault! And as for those kids, think about it before you open that fat mouth of yours woman!" He shouted. Vegeta whirled and glared as Gohan growled softly and took a step forward. "Stay where you are brat! I'm not finished yet!" He hauled Videl and Chi-Chi to their feet none too gently. He leaned forward and growled at them. "All you can say is oh poor me, what he did to me...took away MY children...you and I and the rest of them.." he waved his arm at the others. "We have no memories of the conception of those children..we don't remember them being born. Until today we didn't even know they existed!" Vegeta turned and stalked over to Piccolo, jabbing a finger at him. "He did! He remembered all of it, and he's spent the last three years with the knowledge of them, not seeing them, not hearing from them...you didn't even know what you were missing until today! He has probably missed them..and his mate..." He slanted a look at Piccolo, remembering the Namek's earlier comment. "For the last three years. So shut the hell up with this oh our children how could you keep them from us bullshit!"

By the time Vegeta had finished, Videl and Chi-Chi stood with their heads hung in shame as a heavy silence descended on the lookout.

Bulma stared at Vegeta for several seconds, before walking over and laying a hand on his shoulder. "You know, I think that's the most sensitive thing I've ever heard you say Vegeta. I guess being with Goku has turned you into a really nice guy."

Vegeta stared at her, eyes wide, before he began to sputter angrily. "LIKE HELL IT HAS!!" He bellowed, stalking over to Goku angrily. "Don't even start with me Kakarott!" The prince snarled, looking up into his mate's face.

Goku looked down at Vegeta, lips twitching as he tried to suppress a smile. "Uh...sorry koi.." The tall Saiyan lost his battle, a huge grin appearing on his face. He wrapped his arms around Vegeta, chuckling softly as he rocked them from side to side for a few seconds.

Vegeta allowed himself to be held and rocked by his mate for a few moments, then twisted around to face the others, leaning back against Goku's solid chest as the larger man curled around him from behind. "So. What now?"

Bulma blew out a noisy breath. "Well...I guess I'm the only one here with enough room for nine extra people, I'll go home and make up the guest rooms."

"Krillin has helped me look after Yamcha's place for the last three years, I imagine he and our child will stay there. I'll get that set up." Piccolo said softly, a nervous expression on his face. He jumped as Goku's hand clapped onto his shoulder.

"I think he's missed you as much as you've missed him." Goku said softly.

Piccolo nodded. "I hope so Goku...I hope so." He whispered before taking to the air and sailing over the edge of the lookout.

Goku watched him go, then looked into Vegeta's eyes, the smaller Saiyan staring at him intently. "What are you thinking koi?" He asked, leaning down and kissing Vegeta's forehead.

"How the hell does one prepare themselves to meet their three year old, fully grown child, that they never knew they had?" Vegeta said softly.

"Good question." He answered as the two Saiyans turned to watch the others.

Bulma walked over to hug Chi-Chi and Videl, but Videl turned and ran into her husbands arms with a soft cry. Gohan stroked her long dark hair with one hand, while his other arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. Chi-Chi sighed and reached out, hugging Bulma tightly. Bulma squeaked, and both women giggled as Chi-Chi eased her grip slightly.

Goten stared at the floor for a few moments, shuffling his feet, as Trunks cleared his throat. "Aw hell..." The dark haired demi-Saiyan said at last as he glomped his best friend. Trunks meeped and nearly fell over as he was glomped, laughing and hugging his friend. Both men snickered as they wrestled briefly, trying to trip each other, then settling down into a long hug.

After a few moments, Goten turned his head to look at his best friend, and Trunks turned his head at the same time. Both of them blushed as they found their lips less than an inch apart. A sharp gasp from behind them made them jump apart, Goten nervously fidgeting with his shirt as Trunks raked his fingers through his hair. They turned and looked at their fathers, who were staring at them with wide, surprised eyes.

"Hmm...maybe you were right koi..we shouldn't have been so openly affectionate in front of them." Goku nuzzled Vegeta's ear.

"I told you so, but you never listen Kakarott!" Vegeta sighed. "Now they're turning out just like us." He shrugged. "Oh well, at least we got kids out of them first, even if they are half Namek."

Goten and Trunks facevaulted, then jumped to their feet, faces so red they looked purple. "WE ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER!!!" Both boys shouted in unison, looking around nervously as everyone else on the lookout save for Goku and Vegeta sweatdropped.

"Hn...pretty defensive for two people who claim there's nothing going on.." Vegeta smirked wickedly at them.

"Leave them be koi." Goku chuckled, putting two fingers to his forehead. "We're going back to Capsule Corp. Wanna ride Bulma?"

"Huh? Oh yeah! Sure!" She said, walking over and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Bye you guys! She waved as the three of them disappeared.

"Goten, Trunks..are you coming with me?" Chi-Chi asked, needing to do something, and figuring cooking for two half Saiyans would keep her more than occupied.

"Uh..sure mom." Goten looked at Trunks, eyebrow raised. The lavender haired demi-Saiyan nodded, and they walked over and stood beside Chi-Chi, who wrapped an arm around each man's shoulder. She inhaled sharply as her feet left the ground, and they streaked into the air.

Videl and Gohan stayed still, holding each other, for several moments. "I guess..we should go home and get ready.." Videl said, voice shaking.

"Yeah!" Gohan said, forcing a bright smile onto his face. "Hey...we can tell Pan she'll be a big sister.."

Videl cocked her head, thinking. "You know, she'd like that..." A small smile settled on her lips. "Okay, let's go home." She nodded, taking Gohan's hand.

Mr. Popo sighed and slumped to the steps. "My goodness Dende, that went much better than I expected."

"Yes, I didn't expect them to take it so well either." He shivered, remembering how he had expected his healing powers to be called on when they had first been told of their offspring. "I thought for sure I would have to spend some time putting Piccolo back together."

Popo nodded. "Me too Dende. And who would have expected Vegeta to be the one to stick up for Piccolo?" The guardian's assistant and companion shook his head in wonder.

"Yes, I am still surprised myself. Perhaps Bulma was right, three years with Goku has had a positive effect on Vegeta." Dende smiled. "Now, we'd better get ready for the family reunion of the century Mr. Popo." Dende said, looking up to the sky.

To Be Continued........

Eeep! It just keeps doing this to me! Don't worry, I'll be finishing another chapter within the next day or two kay? *LOL*

Johnnyjosh