A hazy shade of green, part 4.

By Zoicyte aka Johnnyjosh

Piccolo goes into heat, throwing the entire Z gang into emotional and sexual chaos.

Pairings: Piccolo x everybody (almost *LOL*).

Notes: Het, yaoi, lemon, extreme OOC, AU, late DBZ, humor, weirdness. Just for those who seem to have a problem with inconsistencies with my fic and the anime, that's why I put AU on it. Hello? Does the phrase ALTERNATE UNIVERSE mean anything to you? *snickers*

Rating: R for really lemony. *LOL*

This fic is a multi pairing gratuitous lemon request fic for Larania Drake, my 2000th visitor. Will be at least a 5 parter. (that's what I figure on so far)

Gohan, Goku and Vegeta returned to Capsule Corp. and helped Trunks and Goten polish off the rest of the burgers and fries.

"So Dad, when are you going to tell Mom?" Goten asked around his last mouthful of food.

"Well...I guess...I should do it right away shouldn't I?" Goku asked, looking at Vegeta.

"How are you gonna do it Dad? When you tell her you just know she's gonna freak!" Goten looked back and forth fearfully.

"Well I think he should get his stuff outta there first." Trunks piped up.

"I'm going to leave Pan here with Mrs. Briefs and then I'll go with you dad." Gohan promised.

Vegeta sat scowling at the table, listening to them argue as a loose strategy formed in his mind. "Here's what we're going to do!" He snapped, slamming his fist down on the table and making them jump. "Goten, Trunks, and Gohan are going to head to Kakarott's house. Gohan, you will distract that harpy while the other two brats head upstairs and pack up some of Kakarott's things." He took Goku's hand and squeezed it gently. "Kakarott and I will arrive shortly after, and then when we take her out into the yard, where she can't do so much damage..." He smirked, earning chuckles all around. "You go up and help them finish packing. As soon as you have it all, get your butts back here. We'll handle the rest."

Silence stretched out as the other four men stared at him. "Wow Vegeta." Gohan grinned at him. "That's a great plan, I'm impressed!"

"Better yet we don't actually have to be there when she freaks." Goten grinned as well, yelping when Trunks whapped him in the back of the head. "Ow!"

"Chicken." The lavender-haired demi-Saiyan smirked.

Ten minutes later, Gohan, Goten and Trunks took off for the Son house. Vegeta and Goku sat at the kitchen table, the Saiyan prince stroking his lover's back, frowning at the tenseness there. "It's alright koi." Vegeta whispered, dropping light kisses down the side of Goku's neck, smirking as the larger man began to relax against him. "I'll be there beside you."

"Thanks Vegeta..." Goku cupped the back of Vegeta's head and drew him down for a kiss.

Gohan landed in the yard first, entering the house to find his wife and mother eating lunch. He grinned as best he could and sat beside Videl.

"Hey hon." Videl smiled, kissing his cheek. "Where's Pan?"

"Bulma volunteered to watch her for a while, so I thought it'd be nice to spend an afternoon together." He leaned over and kissed her.

Chi-Chi eyed them with a frown. "Where do you think you two are going?" She snapped at Goten and Trunks, who were sneaking up the stairs.

"Um..is there any lunch left mom?" Goten asked, grinning sheepishly. "We're pretty hungry..."

"Oh you Saiyans." She scowled, but got up to dig the leftovers out of the fridge. "Go get cleaned up, I want you two down here in five minutes!"

"Yes mother!" Goten called as they darted up the stairs.

"Man that was close!" Trunks whispered as they tiptoed into Chi-Chi and Goku's bedroom, Goten digging four suitcases from under the bed and stuffing orange gi shirts and pants, and blue shirts and sashes into it. Trunks followed suit, and both boys snickered as they finished with those and moved on to Goku's other clothing.

"Shut up!" Goten grinned. "My mom has some weird ideas about mens clothing...deal with it." He stifled a laugh as they pulled out several garishly colored Hawaiian shirts.

"Hey guys!" Gohan whispered, darting into the room. "Dad and Vegeta just arrived, and they've got mom in the yard, time for us to split!"

"What about Videl?" Goten hissed. "You're not going to leave her here are you?"

Videl poked her head around the doorframe. "Do I look that nuts to you? Gohan told me what you're dad and Vegeta are telling her, I say we get the hell out of here now!"

The four of them nodded, and then crept to the window, throwing it wide open and taking off into the sky, each carrying a heavy suitcase.

"Now what is so important that you had to drag me away from the dishes?" Chi-Chi demanded. "They're not going to do themselves you know!" She fisted her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently and scowling at Goku.

"Uh...well..Chi-Chi..you see..." He looked to Vegeta, wishing this one time that Vegeta would jump in and tell her bluntly.

The Saiyan prince stared at Goku for a moment, raising an eyebrow as if to ask if Goku was sure, to which the taller Saiyan nodded. "Onna.." He growled. "What Kakarott is trying to say is that he is leaving you. He and I have started sleeping together, he is moving in with me and there is nothing you can do about it."

Goku meeped and blushed wildy, while Chi-Chi stood stock still, face a deathly white.

"Leaving? Sleeping with...Vegeta?" She said softly, her cheeks regaining color.

"N...now Chi-Chi..." Goku stammered, eyes wide. "I know this is sudden, and I know you're upset....but.."

Both Saiyans took a nervous step back as her entire face turned purple, huge veins standing out on her forehead. "You fucked a MAN?! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!!" She shrieked, running into the house. A split second later she came out, brandishing the biggest, thickest frying pan she owned. "I'll teach you to treat me like this...After everything I've done for you, this is how you repay me...you...youuu..GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!" She shouted as Goku and Vegeta took to the air.

"I think it would be wise to leave Kakarott." Vegeta said, glancing behind them.

"Yeah, we better give her some time to cool off." Goku said, a sad expression on his face. "I didn't mean to hurt her...but I couldn't just lie to her about you Vegeta.." He said, reaching for Vegeta's hand.

Vegeta smirked at him and took the offered hand, squeezing it tightly. "I wouldn't have let you do it for too long anyway." He grinned.

"Arhhhnnn....not this time you bastard! You won't get away from me!" Chi-Chi shouted, a blue glow surrounding her. Her power level soared, until she reached her maximum. "You are going to pay for this, Son Goku!!" She screamed, crouching down and then streaking into the sky after him.

Vegeta looked behind them again as he felt the sudden upsurge of power. "OH SHIT!" He cried, speeding up and dragging Goku with him. "KAKAROTT, WHEN DID SHE LEARN TO FLY?"

"WHAT?" Goku shrieked, turning and looking behind them as well. "OH MAN!"

The enraged woman chased the two Saiyans for several miles, before she happened to look down and realize how high she was. She screeched as she saw the forest several hundred feet below her, and began to plummet toward the earth with a scream, her power temporarily spent.

"Vegeta let go! I have to catch her!" Goku pulled at his arm, which was being held in Vegeta's iron grip.

"Why? She can still shield herself." The prince said petulantly. "She will hit the ground, leave a huge crater, and walk away with a few cuts and scrapes. She'll be fine!"

"That's not the point! She's in this predicament because of me, now I have to help her." Goku said, wrenching his arm away and streaking after Chi-Chi.

"Hmph." Vegeta crossed his arms and scowled, looking away. "I refuse to help that harpy." He sneered, turning around and flying slowly toward Capsule Corp.

Chi-Chi shrieked as the ground hurtled up toward her. *Oh Kami...this is it! I'm a goner for sure!* She thought, squeezing her eyes shut and bracing for impact.

"Huh?" She opened her eyes as she felt her descent halted. "What happened?"

"Are you alright Chi-Ch . .OW!" Goku yelped as the frying pan came crashing down on his head. "Hey! Chi-Chi cut..no! Stop it...No fair!" Goku cried as Chi-Chi swung the pan in earnest. "Man Chi-Chi I was just trying to help you." Goku whined as he finally set her on the ground.

"Get out of my sight! I never want you to darken my doorstep again got it!" She yelled, swinging the frying pan at his head again.

Goku dodged the blow, and took to the air with a sigh. "Alright Chi-Chi. Again, I'm sorry for all this." He said, turning and looking back at the fuming woman one last time before catching up to Vegeta.

"Oh sure! Leave me out here to die!" She shouted at them. "How am I supposed to get home?"

"You flew out here, fly back!" Vegeta shouted back. "She honestly expects you to carry her back while she hits you with that blasted pan?" He asked incredulously.

"She's entitled to dream Vegeta." Goku shrugged, and moved closer, draping an arm around the prince.

Capsule Corp.......

"Oh man you're kidding me!" Gohan banged his fist on the table, laughing so hard tears filled his eyes. "Mom was so pissed off she learned to fly? Wow Vegeta, you certainly have a knack for delivering bad news don't you?" He said, sending the other demi-Saiyans and Videl into gales of laughter.

"Yes well at least she didn't faint, like you, your brother and my brat did." Vegeta smirked as all three men blushed.

Goku sighed and stared down at the table, chin resting on his hand.

"Still thinking about your ningen friend koi?" Vegeta asked softly.

"Yeah....I still can't figure out what would make him just take off like that." Goku scowled, leaning over toward Vegeta as the Saiyan's fingers massaged his shoulder.

Vegeta frowned, replaying the events from earlier in his mind. *The ningen just took off, no warning, nothing. And both of the green beans were acting like they were hiding something. The shrimp said he was not at liberty to say, so I assume Yamcha swore him to secrecy, but Piccolo..that's another story* He looked over at Gohan, and he raised an eyebrow at the startled look on the younger man's face.

*What is it brat?*

Gohan jumped as Vegeta's voice sounded in his head. *Oh...I..I just.. It was nothing.*

*Bullshit. What was going through your head a second ago?* Vegeta demanded. *Well...I was just wondering, about the strange way Piccolo was acting. It was like he was angry at Yamcha for leaving, and I just got a weird picture of them...being a couple..* Gohan thought.

"Aaaugh...that's disgusting!" Vegeta cried, pushing away from the table and pacing the dining room. "Still..." He spun and looked at the demi-Saiyan intently. "Perhaps that's worth looking into." Vegeta ran out the back door and took off into the sky, already having pinpointed Piccolo's location.

Gohan, Goku, Goten, Trunks and Videl all raced out and flew after him.

Dende's lookout.....

"Namek!" Vegeta bellowed as he landed on the edge.

"What do you want Vegeta?" Piccolo growled from his position cross-legged on the floor.

"Were you sleeping with the ningen?" Vegeta demanded without preamble.

Piccolo gaped, his face turning purple. "Wh...what? Who..How?" He stammered, unable to form a sentence.

"Never mind." Vegeta shuddered, lip curling in distaste. "That's all the answer I needed."

"So it's true..?" Goku asked, eyes wide. "Dende, where is he?" He turned to the guardian.

"Leave him be!" Piccolo shouted suddenly. "He wants to be there!"

"Please Goku, Piccolo's right. Yamcha wanted to go to where he is now, and I imagine he's going to be staying there for quite some time. So just let him be." Dende said softly, placing a hand on the agitated Saiyan's arm.

"No you don't understand." Goku said, looking down at him pleadingly. "I don't want to convince him to come back, I just wanted to have a chance to say bye."

Dende sighed, looking over at Piccolo, and realizing the large Namek was going to be extremely ticked off at him for what he was about to do, but at this point he didn't really care. "He's gone to Namek Goku." He winced as Piccolo roared and stood up, only to be knocked down by Vegeta.

"Thanks Dende, I owe you one." Goku smiled and placed two fingers to his forehead, waving as he vanished.

Neo Namek.......

Yamcha yelped as a familiar energy appeared outside his dome shaped hut. "Goku! What the hell is he doing here?" He hissed, throwing a blanket over the eggs and racing outside.

"Yamcha!" Goku grinned and grabbed his friend in a bear hug before pulling back and frowning at him. "How come you didn't say goodbye?" He asked.

"Well...I..see.." Yamcha tried to come up with a decent explanation.

"I know you and Piccolo were...ah.." The Saiyan shifted uncomfortably and blushed. "But what I wanna know is, if it ended badly, why would you come to Piccolo's people? Wouldn't that just make things worse?"

Yamcha's eyes narrowed slightly as he thought of a way to tell the partial truth, and still keep the rest of the secret, as well as explain his desire to stay here on Namek. "Just a sec Goku, wait here and I'll show you." He darted back into his house and gently picked up his and Piccolo's egg. "This is why I left." He showed Goku the large, cream colored egg.

Goku's eyes were saucers. "But..Yamcha..that's..."

"A Namek egg. Yeah I know. It's my son, or daughter." He handed the egg to the stunned Saiyan. "Piccolo couldn't deal with it, and he...well...she..never mind." He shook his head and sighed. "Piccolo was going to send it here, and I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing my child. So I told him wherever that egg goes, I go so, here I am." He grinned.

Goku stood still and silent for several minutes, trying to absorb what he had learned. "I wish you all the best Yamcha." He said softly, hugging his friend again. "I'll come back and visit you, I wanna see this kid!" He grinned. "You know, bring the family and stuff, oh yeah! By the way I left Chi-Chi today, I'm moving in with Vegeta. See ya!" Goku waved as he phased out.

Yamcha stood stock still for several seconds, eyes wide, then nearly fell over howling with laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHA!!" He went down on one knee, chuckling and wiping tears from his eyes. "Goku left the harpy for a man! Never thought I'd see the day!" He grinned and went back into the house.

Dende's lookout.....

Vegeta spun as Goku reappeared beside Dende. "Well? Did he tell you why he left?" He demanded, then paused as he saw the smile on his lover's face.

"Yeah he sure did. Thanks Dende." Goku said, clapping a hand on the guardian's shoulder. "Come on you guys, I'll tell you about it on the way home." He turned to regard Piccolo, a slight frown on his face. "That wasn't fair you know." He said simply. Piccolo just crossed his arms and scowled at him.

The large Namek nearly collapsed as soon as they were out of sight. "Kami no...Yamcha what have you done?" He growled, wondering what the human had said to Goku.

To Be Continued.....

BWAHAHAHA!! Yup I did it again! *LOL* Don't worry, I'm working on the next chapter now, it should be up real soon! Read and review please!