Four Lions + Two Serpents = One Helluva Good Time, Chapter 2

By: Zoicyte aka Johnnyjosh

Fandom: HP (Yes, I know, a huge departure for this long-time DBZ writer, but rest assured I am NOT giving up on my DBZ WIP fics!)

Rating: NC-17, nothing to see here but mindless, pointless smut *LOL*

Pairing: Every combination imaginable between Fred, George and Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and Severus Snape.

Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, language, incest, twincest, underage (HP, RW and DM are 15, but technically where I live they'd be considered legal *LOL*)

Notes: OOC, AU, PWP, TWT, etc.

Archived: Others please ask first.

Thanks to Rakshakc and Lara for their constant encouragement *glomps* Thanks also to Espaa for beta'ing.


Fred and George slowly, silently made their way toward the staircases, keeping a careful eye out for teachers. Several times they found themselves all but diving behind suits of armor, or enormous stone statues to avoid being seen. But the professors prowling the halls weren't their biggest worry, well, most of them weren't, the obvious exception being of course Professor Snape.

No, their biggest worry was Mrs. Norris. The large, red-eyed, long-haired cat had a preternatural knack for sniffing out students, and then meowing loudly to lead the caretaker straight to them. But Fred and George hadn't earned such a long-standing record for pranks and mischief without learning a few interesting tricks over the years. They'd come up with a potion which was quite repulsive to the cat's sensitive nose, but barely noticeable to a human. After sprinkling a little bit of it on the floor behind them, the twins could be assured that Mrs. Norris wouldn't be able to follow for at least an hour or two, thereby allowing them safe passage.

The two seventh-years crept quickly but quietly down another staircase, smirking at each other as they found themselves in the dungeons. "You do realize..." Fred whispered, glancing around furtively. "That coming down here increases our chances of getting caught astronomically, right?"

George chuckled quietly, quickening his pace as they neared the door of one of the unused classrooms. Muttering a quiet 'Alohamora' under his breath, George stepped inside, ushering his brother in before locking and warding the door, putting up a silencing charm as well. "Come on, Fred." He chided, reaching out to run a fingertip down his twin's soft cheek. "The risk is half the fun."

Fred grinned, leaning forward and wrapping both arms around George's waist. "Mm..." He nodded, before nipping lightly at the other teen's chin. "True enough, but what about Ron?"

George blinked, pulling back to gaze at him quizzically. "What about him?"

"Well, think about it." Fred said, as he nuzzled George's cheek gently. "He tried to waylay us the other night, it's obvious he's getting curious about what we're doing. It's only a matter of time, really, until he decides to follow us, and then what?"

George snorted, shaking his head. "No way, we'd know if he was trying to follow us, I'm afraid Ron just isn't very good at being stealthy."

"Not usually..." Fred whispered, hands moving over George's shoulders, pushing off his robes. "However, if he should happen to get his hands on Potter's cloak..." He trailed off, pulling back and quirking a brow.

George stiffened for a moment, eyes narrowing as he considered his brother's words. "Hm... You could be right." He shrugged lightly, before taking out his wand. "But, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it." He said quietly, before transfiguring the desk at the front of the room into a king-size bed.

"We could always ask him to join us." Fred snickered, snatching up George's hand and pulling him across the room, raining kisses down the side of his throat between words.

"You're joking!" George exclaimed, drawing a loud laugh from his twin. "Ron? He's such a prude! I bet if he did stumble in on us, he'd up and die of shock!"

Fred continued to snicker as he was pushed down on the bed, his laughter trailing off to a moan when George began nibbling and kissing the side of his throat. "Mm..." He nodded slowly, fingers brushing through the other teen's hair. "But you know, I'd wager if we had Harry down here, he'd be a little the idea?" Fred smirked wickedly, before flipping them over and pinning his brother to the bed. "I mean, think about it. We've both seen the way he looks at Harry sometimes."

"Oh, ho! Fred Weasley, you certainly are the naughty one tonight, aren't you?" George chuckled, hands settling on his twin's hips as he slowly rocked beneath him. "Number one, strange stares aren't concrete proof Ron swings that way, never mind whether he'd be into swinging that way with us. Not to mention the fact that we don't know where Harry's preferences lie either..." His words were cut off by a hungry kiss from Fred.

"Yeah..." Fred said, voice growing husky as he impatiently worked the buttons of his twin's shirt. "But it'd be a hell of a lot of fun finding out."


Ron skirted behind another statue, freezing in fear as an all-too-familiar figure dressed in billowing black robes swept gracefully down the corridor ahead. "Phew...thought I was done for." The teen slumped back against the wall, heaving a relieved sigh. He'd followed his brothers down three levels of the castle, and he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly where they would ultimately end up. "Not the dungeons..." He whined softly, creeping down the hall to the next stairway. "Of all the places you two could have picked to mess about, it had to be Snape's stomping grounds..." He grumbled, forcibly restraining himself from stomping down the stairs in frustration.

Harry followed Ron silently, a smile playing on his lips as he listened to his best friend's complaints. He bit down the automatic urge to shush the other teen, glancing around to make sure Ron's mumbling hadn't called Snape back to investigate the noises.

He still wasn't sure exactly why he was following Ron. He told himself as he slipped past the fat lady's portrait that he was just going in case Ron got into trouble, he could be there to throw the invisibility cloak over him and get them both back to the dormitory safely. But he knew he was lying to himself. He was just as curious, if not even more, than Ron was about that kiss the twins had shared as they left the common room.

*But why am I curious, exactly?* He asked himself for what seemed like the hundredth time. *I know I don't have any experience with siblings, but I'm pretty sure that kind of affection isn't shared by most of them.* He bit his lip to stifle a snicker, remembering the utterly stupefied expression on Ron's face as they'd started to follow the twins. It wasn't that they were the same sex, it was that they were brothers. Harry had realized over the past summer that he found males just as attractive as females and had accepted it easily enough. He smirked as he remembered a rather crude muggle joke about being what they called bisexual, stating that it doubled his dating prospects. *Well, if you think about it, it's true, isn't it?* The teen thought with a lop-sided grin as he slowly descended the stairs.

At last the two teens reached the dungeons. While Ron cast panicked glances over his shoulder, Harry quietly checked around for any sign of wards or charms to figure out which room the twins were concealing themselves in.

"Come on, come on..." Ron muttered, trying out each door as he crept down the corridor. "I know you're down here somewhere." The red-haired teen stiffened for a moment, eyes wide as one door in particular sent a sharp shock up his arm. "Bingo." He whispered, unable to see Harry closing the distance between them as he used his wand to unlock the door.

*I hope it's them, and not a couple of amorous Slytherins in that room.* Harry shuddered at the thought. He held his breath as he stood close enough to nearly brush against Ron's back, ready to sweep into the room right behind him as the other teen gently pushed the door open.


"Hold on..." Fred paused, jerking his head up from where he'd been slowly kissing his way down his twin's bare abdomen. "Did you feel that?" He whispered, raising his eyes to meet his brother's gaze.

"Mm hm." George shifted and sat up, all but glaring at the door. "Seems someone's intent on interrupting us. Any ideas on how to teach our little snoop a lesson?" He quirked a brow at Fred, an almost evil grin on his face.

"A few..." Fred smirked back, as they both snatched up their wands and made their way across the room. "Which do you want to do, Jelly-Legs or Furnunculus?" He snickered.

George bit back his laughter, remembering the interesting side effect he'd once seen when the two hexes were mixed. "Well, I suppose I could take Furnunculus this time." He grinned at his brother, as they took their positions on either side of the door just before it began to swing open.

*chuckles* Don'tcha just love those evil cliffhanger endings? *grins*

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