| Rules for Sydney's Poker Table*
1. Shut the fuck up, and listen to Sydney. .. and read the rules. 2. Over 21 years of age ONLY! 3. No whining. 4. No sleeping or snoring (zzzzz) or complaining about a slow play. This will bring about the dreaded �vaya-con-dios� and a swift boot from Sydney. 5. Win 3 hands in a row (as a non-regular) and you get the boot, especially if you gloat. 6. You are doomed if you get pocket pairs. You must advise others of your plight with the secret code "nudges" or you will be doubly screwed. (Fred�s rule) 7. No singing. Not ever. Repeat ever... without the express written consent of Sydney or the Boston Red-Sox Baseball Club. 8. Only Regulars get seats held for them. Only Sydney (or a deputy) may designate someone as a "regular". 9. You must play naked (or pretend to) {also the official uniform of the Boston Redsox Baseball Club}. 10. Getting booted from the table is bad enough; getting booted, then spying on Sydney (or one of her trusted deputies {as proxy}) is punishable by Sydney giving you a permanent Doc Martens enema. Ye shall be banished from the Queendom. 11. Dues shall be paid (or a tithe pledged) to Sydney every fiscal poker-year, as designated by Sydney. 12. Central Ohio shall here-to-fore be designated as the center of the known universe (although for some strange reason, the States of Michigan, California, Texas, and Georgia have some inexplicable, magnetic affects on happenings at the table). 13. Fred is the keeper of the "Sydney List": any request for this list from someone else more than once will be punishable by a spanking from Sydney (and DL & Tris if they want to join in.) 14. If you want a lap dance you must bring cash. Large bills only, please. Begging helps. 15. This table is BYOL (libations, lubricants, and luck). See Rule #4. 16. Sydney �night� is Friday night. All regulars shall dress appropriately (naked) and log in with their "Sydney" ID's. Alter ego �night� is Wednesday. Be weird if you must. 17. Males shalt have no other Queen before Sydney; or Dragon before DL (our Princess), or My Lady before Tris, or My Dears� Peaches, Chouette, and Shakey. Bow before the Bitches and repent your wicked ways� 18. Never leave without saying goodnight�. and wait for a reply. Or else. 19. Table Opens 10 PM EST nightly, or there-abouts. (Pete's 15 minute rule) 20. If any regular asks you for age, sex, or location you must answer in a timely fashion. 21. If you are lucky enough to host the table after SYDNEY, you must enforce the rules, or close the table. 22. Regulars always have chair preferences over pilgrims. If you are asked to move or give up a seat, you better do it quickly. 23. Fred is the Smooth King... (perhaps JC and Pete occasionally). 24. All batteries must be refreshed in a timely manner. 25. Sydney and DL shall designate a place and time for the once-a-year meeting. All regulars must attend if humanly possible. 26. Occasionally Sydney deigns to play poker with her subjects; if so, ye shall fold or make other arrangements which shall ensure Her victory. Or you better start rubbin'... *All Official Rules shall be subject to the approval of Sydney (or by proxy 2/3�s of her deputies present at any given time should Sydney be not present). - Johnny |