The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job.
What comes after ten?"
"A jack," says the kid.
***
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents.
"He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a large carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is 'yes'."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.
" Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce.
My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
***
Q: What do you call two gay guys both named Bob?
A: Oral Roberts
***
A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.
Morning comes after them, and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
***
A Texan and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning.
"Congratulations!" says the clerk.
Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?"
"Naw, thanks," says the cowboy. "I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."
