My favorite
"It says POLICE not TAXI"
New ones!!!!
Your life is not my fault.
Take you hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document
Remember, when you gotta cuff 'em... nobody is your friend
If you run, you'll only go to jail tired
Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" (if you aren't a shooter) That is the average speed of a 9mm projectile[slug]
So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
If its worth stopping, its worth writing.
The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.
Listen with your ears, not with your mouth
Some people are meant to be cops, and some people are meant to call the cops.
God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today.
God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them.
Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because,dedicated men and women stand ready to do violence in their behalf.
I know, I know! Your kid is an honor student at the juvenile detention center.
I'm glad to hear the Chief Of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
We don't hire cops in this Department, we hire common sense and make cops from it.
I don't believe they should use the electric chair, they need to use electric bleachers.