You have the right to remain motionless,
or you may elect to run away from me.

Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to
chase you down to the ends of the earth.

You have the right to have a lawyer run with you.
Should he refuse, a recent Law School graduate
will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.

If while running, you suddenly decide to end the race,
beware that my K-9 may not understand your
intentions, and may continue his persuit of you
in full stride.

You may stop running at any time, at your own risk.

Good luck. On your mark, get set...... GO!!!!!

VERSION 2

You have the right to swing first. Anything you do
can and will lead to an as$-kicking.

You have the right to have a priest and/or and EMT
present at the time of the as$-kicking.

If you don't have a priest, one will be appointed
free of charge, to read you your last prayer.

VERSION 3

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST AND.....

No, I do not care who you are.

No, I do not care who you know.

Yes... you do pay my salary.

Yes... you can have my job.

No, I do not have anything better to do.

Yes, I do arrest real criminals sometimes.

No, I am not picking on you because you are
_____________ (fill in some group/race)

No, I can not give you a break.

No, I do not know your friend, Officer ________.

Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.

Yes, I am sure that you will never do this again.

No, we can not talk about it.

Yes, it DOES make me happy.

Yes, you WILL see me in court.

Thank you, have a nice day...... TOMORROW!!!
Thanks Your Arresting Officer ____________