November 12, 1997

Dear Tylenol,

I have heard numerous rumors regarding the hazardous side-effects of consuming in excess of 12 Tylenol tablets per day. I feel the lack of explanation as to these side-effects on the label of your product has served to fuel these rumors. I therefore took it upon myself to conduct a scientific experiment which included a sneak-attack, violently-perpetrated, self-inflicted wedgy causing immense discomfort and tremendous friction. The reason behind this was to bring about sufficient pain to warrant ingesting 12+ Tylenol tablets in the time span of 24 hours. Needless to say I was successful. Listed below are just some of the side-effects I experienced during and after my experiment: 1) numbness followed by sensitivity and tingling sensation throughout the genital area. 2) uncontrollable, deep-seeded hankering for a spankering. 3) random displaying of my personal victory move. These are just a few of the many side-effects I coped with. I hope you will take this opportunity to clarify and elaborate upon the meaning of hazardous as it pertains to maximum dosages. Do the above mentioned side-effects qualify as hazardous? I anxiously await your response.

NO REPLY

Sincerely yours,


John Doh
P.O. Box 2959
Hearst, Ontario
P0L 1N0