January 25,1998

Dear Friend,

In my capacity as President of the Royal Canadian Competitive Pony-Spanking Association (RCCPSA), I would like to congratulate you on your new product, Grand Champion Ponies. As you know, Competitive Pony-Spanking will be an Unofficial Trial Sport Event near the 1998 Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan. We hope our noble and uplifting sport will gain the respect and admiration of every Canadian and garner many endorsements (hint, hint). I am writing this letter, however, to request certain technical data about your Grand Champion Ponies. I hope to use your product as a training aid:

1) Do pony parts contain any toxic substances and/or harmful chemicals?
2) How many foot-pounds of force can the pony stand?
3) How many spanks-per-minute (SPMS) can she take?
4) Do you make them to scale?
5) Is there an inflatable model (to scale)?
6) Do you give credit?
7) If I buy 10 or more anatomically correct & life-sized Grand Champion Ponies do I get a discount?
8) What kind of warranty can I expect?

Thank you for taking the time to answer my very technical questions. As we say in the RCCPSA�Spank it... Spank it good!

NO REPLY

High Regards,


John Doh, Esq.
President-For-Life,
RCCPSA
P.O. Box 2959
Hearst, Ontario
P0L 1N0