Dear Mr. Doh, I write you with a broken heart. Let me explain why. I ran across your website the other day and it was so funny I was just bursting from the joy and merriment it brought to me. I couldn't wait to share this joy and merriment with my sick mother. You see my motherhas hemmoroidextendenitas. In case you are not familiar with this debilitaing disease let me explain. Briefly it is a disease which causes elongating of the hemmoroidal tissues. Currently they are hanging at about knee level, and you can only imagine the pain she is in. At some point of course she will be completly bedridden because as her anal tissue continues to lengthen eventually she would be walking on her own ass. I am sorry to be so expicit but I thought you should be made aware of the reason for my broken heart.
Anyway back to the story at hand. This morning as my mother and her swinging hemmoroids entered the living room. I shared with her myglee in finding your website. I insisted that she have a look , as I thought this would cheer her up and take her mind off of her constant pain. I managed to help her over to the computer and after cleaning up the little brown spots she left on the carpet has her hemmoroids swung from side to side I showed her your site.
She began to read the letters that you had written to the different corporations and her laughter was like the laughter of little angels. I was so glad that my mommy was happy and for at least a few minutes not thinking about her ass. Then alas I heard a horrible scream unlike anything you could ever imagine in your worst nightmares. My mother had sat down on her extended hemmoroids, of course this caused hertremendous pain, thus the scream.
Apparently you did not link the Bill Clinton letter properly. My mother tried repeatedly to click on it but to no avail. In a moment of disgust she sat down accidentally not thinking about the consequences. Now I know you didn't do this on purpose to harm me in any way, but mymother thinks I did this to her as a practical joke. She feels I got her hopes up that she would be eternally happy looking at your links and that somehow I caused the Bill Clinton link to fail. Of course this is impossible, but my mother is completly computer illiterate. Now she refuses to speak with me , and just sits in her room rubbing ice cubes up and down her hemmoroids.
I am begging you Mr. Doh please have compassion on me, and my mother and correct the Bill Clinton link. I feel if you do this then possiblythere is some hope that my mommy will speak with me again. Thank you for your time and please let me know when the link is corrected sothat I can remove the icecubes from my poor old mothers feeble hands, wipe off her hemmoroidal tissues, and again get her in front of thecomputer where she can while away the hours laughing at your site.
