Freedom! Precious, elusive, freedom. I warned them. I pleaded with them. I told them over and over and over again. But they refused to listen. They said that it was impossible but they were wrong. THEY WERE WRONG! I knew my extensive circus training would someday come in handy. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but someday, SOMEDAY. Many ridiculed me in the early years for my perceived lack of ambition. Instead of entering into the glamorous field of Law and Security: the respect, the women, the high life! I chose to take the path less traveled. Instead I entered the elite world of bilingual semi-literate circus freak. Once I was accepted into the "family" I set my mind to honing my body, mind and spirit. I began a strict regime of wind sprints and jumping jacks followed by a methodical recital of my mantra: "I wish I was an Oscar Myer wiener." The improvement was incredible! Soon I was approaching peak physical condition. That's when it all went wrong! I lost sight of the real reason I was there. To turn the crank inside the windmill on the 8th hole of the mini-putt green. I grew arrogant. Cocky even. Instead of being a team player I just had to push the envelope. I just had to see how far I could go. Not satisfied with my prestigious position I had to have more. MORE! Finally it happened. The defining moment in my life. I remember it well. I broke the cardinal rule amongst circus performers. While listening to my favorite album, "The 1980's--643 songs that changed the face of music history" something snapped in my brain. A voice telling me as I listened to the unplugged version of Everybody Wang Chung Tonight. They are all against you. They are all jealous of your 23-inch pythons! Kill them all! START WITH THE MONKEY! START WITH THE MONKEY! WELL WHOSE THE MONKEY NOW?????????????????????????
