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In a shocking release earlier today, Cole Harbour strongman Gen. John DeWolfe revealed to reporters that he was not actually a strongman nor a General. To quote DeWolfe, "This is all just a bunch of crap I make up in my basement and type into my computer. The Cole Harbour independence movement, the CHSF, the Cole Harbo-Canadian War, they're all figments of my imagination." When further pressed about Dan Hicks' three foot long penis, DeWolfe stated "No, that's real. But the rest is fake."
It is uncertain what effect this revelation will have on the combattants. Jacquleyn Walters, a senior member of DeWolfe's fictional CHRA staff, fought through her metaphysical confusion at the situation and said that "despite the fact that the real Jacquelyn Walters hasn't done any of the things attributed to me, and despite the fact that none of the CHRA's resistence fighters actually exist, I still feel confident that we will win the war." Walters then went on to discuss the matter at length with long-dead German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.
Other members of the CHSF inner circle were asked for brief comments on the revelation of their world's fictionality. Nic Carmichael was unavailable for comment, while Dan Hicks asserted that "The three foot penis is real. I repeat, the three foot penis is real." Chris Windeyer was just thankful not to be in jail anymore, but upon grasping that the circumstances of his universe were malleable, he killed Mike Harris just by pure force of will.
When asked if this meant the CHSF's time was up, DeWolfe replied "No, I'm sure I'll write something in a week or so to tie up the loose ends. After that, who knows? With my imagination, anything could happen, so keep your eyes on this space!"