For those who know me well (and if you read this page, you probably know me quite well), you are aware I suffer from a horrible condition called EIC. This stands for Extended Involuntary Celebacy. In layman's terms, it means I'm not having much luck as a... uh, layman, if you catch my drift.
I'm not whining here. This is at least partly my fault, and largely attributable to my utter lack of endearing qualities. Still, with my habitual singlehood in mind (and it is often in my mind), I often daydream over what the ideal woman for Johnnie D would be. And, in the "no particular order" order, I've defined her as all or most of the following things:
There you have it. If you meet 75% of these critera, (and definitely if you meet the last one), please send a message to the editor. I'll be willing to waive these requirements for one particular person (and one of my regular readers knows exactly who I'm talking about.)
