In my unit, there was a nightly Bible study in one of the cells. One of the Christians at this Bible study had been trying to witness to me. I went up there one night, mainly to aggravate them. There were 12-15 people sitting in a cell designed for 2 people and they were all studying the Bible. They invited me to stay, but I refused.
The next night I went back. They were all sharing a meal and invited me to join in. My stomach wouldn't let me say no! So, I ate and then they made me take some extra food back to my cell for later. I figured that I could stick around for one Bible study, at least to show my appreciation. That night was a long one. I didn't get more that 30 minutes of sleep at a time. I knew that God was speaking to me. I would give an excuse and I would hear, in my head, a voice telling me, "Behold, I make all things new." The next day I gave my life to the Lord and got rid of my Wicca books. I started cutting ties to all the Wiccans in the prison. About 3 days after I gave my life to Jesus, Phillip, the one I nearly jumped on, came running up to me with a big smile on his face. He gave me a hug and said, "Hello my Christian Brother." Later someone heard him say that he had been praying for me for 3 years.
Almost over-night my personality completely changed. I was not mean anymore. I was happy and at peace. Actually about 2 days after I became a Christian I was standing in the Bible study cell watching Animal Planet on TV. I started laughing at something and one of the guys who lived in that cell told me that was the first time he had seen me smile or laugh in the 8 months that he had known me.
Two weeks after I became a Christian, I went through one of the most severe tests that an incarcerated person will ever face. I lost my Dad to colon cancer, liver cancer, and Crohn�s disease. I know that the only reason I had any peace during this time is because I had Jesus in my heart. He surrounded me with many Christian Brothers at this time. A friend of mine told me that God told him He waited until I accepted Jesus to take my Dad. Wow.
Up until this time in my life, I could (nearly) honestly tell you that I did not believe in regrets. I have 2 great regrets in my life. Not being there for my Dad was, and is, number 1.
In April of 2006 I was extradited back to California and re-sentenced to 2 years on my old Burglary case. I spent about 4 months in San Quentin State Prison and then was released. Right away I walked away from God and wanted to do things my own way. I went back to northern California and there I met, and fell in love with, a beautiful lady named Barbara. I left California after 2 months and traveled back to Indianapolis to work for a Debt Collection Agency as a paralegal/investigator. I had taught myself the trade while in prison. That job didn�t pan out, so I got a really good job at a metal heat treating plant. I had lost contact with Barbara and as a result became severely depressed and plagued with thoughts of suicide. I know that God was there, but I wanted nothing to do with Him. In April of last year I finally called Barbara and she agreed to come to Indianapolis to be with me. She arrived on May 5. I proposed to her at the airport and she said yes. We moved into a room in my boss�s house. Soon after that, my boss�s wife offered to sell us her trailer. I agreed to buy it, but Barbara never moved in with me. We broke up about 2 weeks before I signed the agreement. I sent her to her sister�s house in Oklahoma. I�m still heartbroken over that, but God is helping me.
This is the second great regret in my life. And it is the one which has taught me the most. I have done a lot of irreparable damage in my life and it is probably accurate to say that I have destroyed a couple (at least) of lives. One thing that life has taught me is that if you learn from something, it kind of takes away some of the evil of it. Most of the things that I have done in my life were evil, but I am who I am today because of the consequences of my actions. I wouldn't value my salvation if I had not experienced "the other side."
