| The Wedding of the Century JohnandRain&Eric 31 December 2000 |
| Wedding Traditions |
| Something old, something new.... Although our wedding was not what most people would picture when they think of "traditional," we did incorporate several traditions in our ceremony and reception. Here are a few - with explanations of their origins and meanings! |
| Something old ~ For continuity with the past. Originating from the biblical tradition when a woman left her home and family and became a possession of the groom's family. Something old would remind her of her home and family. Something new ~ For optimism for the future. New items for the home or for the bride personally were given to ensure that her new family would accept her. Traditionally, the something new should not be the gown or veil (because these were usually passed from one bride to another). Something borrowed ~ For happiness. Originated from the superstition that happines rubs off, so the bride borrowed something from a happily married woman. Something blue~ For fidelity, good fortune, and love. Light blue is considered to be the color of purity (possibly from the color of a clear sky). ...And a lucky sixpence for her shoe ~ For a lifetime of good fortune. The sixpence (or penny) should be given to the bride by her mother and worn in the left shoe. The father of the bride may also give a gold coin for the right shoe. Traditionally given so that the bride would never have to go without (the groom was not supposed to know about the coins), it may also have provided a means for the bride to purchase a fare to return home. Weather superstitions ~ Rain (or snow) on the wedding day ensures a lifetime of happiness because each rain drop sybolizes a tear that will never fall from the brid'es eyes. An Irish tradition holds that if the sun shines on the bride, it will bring good luck to the couple. The Hands of the Clock ~ Getting married as the minute hand of the clock is sweeping up (from 6-12) promotes good luck in the marriage. Getting married when the minute hand is falling (12-6) is said to be bad luck. Aisle runner ~ The white aisle runner originated in Europe and was a way to keep the bride's dress white (pure) and clean after guests had tracked mud into the church from the unpaved roads. Today, the tradition continues as a symbol of the purity of the bride. Bridesmaids & groomsmen ~ Bridesmaids traditionally wear the exact same dresses (traditionally similar to the bride's gown) so that evil spirits would be confused as to just who was the actual couple. Also, during the Middle Ages, brides were frequently snatched from the altar by bandits; the identically dressed attendants were intended to serve as decoys. Groom on the right, bride on the left ~ In the days of marriage by capture, the groom had to defend his "prize" against rival suitors until the moment the vows were spoken. Therefore, the groom needed to have his right (sword) hand free to fight; the bride stood to his left to be safe from the brandished blade! Groom not seeing the bride before the wedding ~ In the days of arranged marriages, couples rarely saw each other before the wedding. It was considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony because she would no longer be pure and new (also the reasong for veiling the face). Unity cande ~ The lighting of the unity candle symbolizes that "the two shall become one" and symbolizes the joining of two families. A full unity set may include the unity pillar, two unity tapers (for the bride and groom), two smaller mothers' pillars, and any number of children's tapers. Traditionally, the mothers of the bride and groom light the mother's pillars before they are seated. The bride and groom then light their tapers each from their own mother's pillar and use their tapers to light the unity pillar. If children are involved, they may join the bride and groom in lighting the unity pillar. Mothers' pillars, unity tapers, and children's tapers may remain lit (to symbolize the individuality of the bride and groom and their families) or may be extinguished (to symbolize the complete union of the brdie and groom). Wedding & engagement ring ~ The circular shape symbolizes eternal love; gold represents enduring beauty, purity, and strength. The ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand because ancient Egyptians believed that the vein in that finger ran directly to the heart. Diamonds set in gold or silver were originally betrothal gifts at the end of the 5th Centrury. Train of the bride's dress ~ Originating in the Middle Ages, the length of a bride's train indicated her rank in the court; the longer the train the higher was her stature. Locking (or shutting) the church door ~ An Irish tradition, the guests lock the door of the church to keep the groom inside to be sure that he goes through with the ceremony and doesn't get "cold feet." "The Kiss" ~ In ancient Rome, contracts were sealed with a kiss. Also, there is a romantic belief that when a couple kiss, they exchange a part of their souls. Applauding the new couple ~ The pronunciation and acceptance of the couple originated in the days of capture marriages as a way for the church (and governing body) to announce that the bride was no longer available for "capture." It has become a way for the guests to congratulate the couple. Decorating the "get-away" car ~ Groomsmen traditionally decorate the newlywed's car with tin cans to bring luck. The noise of the clattering cans frightens away evil spirits. Tolling the bride & groom ~ Similar to the noise of the clattering cans, tolling the bride and groom (or following their car and honking) frightens away evil spirits. It also may have an origin in early American history when the wedding ceremony was reserved for immediate family only; all of the other towns people who knew the bride and groom would stand outside their doors clattering pots and pans together as the couple passed (or following the couple to their new home and clattering throughout the night) to wish them luck. Candles in the windows ~ An old Irish tradition, people placed candles in the windows to invite wandering priests to stop at the home (as a safe haven in the days when Cathollics were persecuted) and offer a Mass. A candle in the window today serves as an invitation to a celebration. Evergreen boughs on the aisle ~ Lining the aisle with evergreens is a German tradition to grant longevity to the marriage and to the couple. Tossing the bouquet & garter ~ The bride originally tossed her bouquet to a friend as she left the wedding festivities to offer her luck ("getting lucky" used to mean getting married!). The garter toss may have originated when guests used to tear off pieces of the bride's clothing for luck. To defend herself, the bride would throw her garter to them! Tossing the garter (alternate origin) ~ Tossing the garter is drerived from an old English custom of guests invading the bridal chamber, stealing her stockigs and flinging them at the groom. The guest who's stocking landed on the groom's nose was the next to marry. It later evolved into guests rushing the altar just to possess the garter! Now, the groom removes the garter and tosses it to his bachelor friends! Bride's cake ~ Ancient Romans used to break a wheat bun over the head of the bride as a promise for fertility. In the 17th Century, French bakers began to frost the buns and offer them to guests. The tradition of higher and higher tiered cakes began with a game where the bride and groom attempted to kiss over an ever-higher cake without knocking it over (the maximum number of tiers over which the couple could reach for a kiss was the number of decades - 10 years - of marital bliss!). Groom's cake ~ Legend says that a single woman will dream of her future husband if she sleeps with a slice of groom's cake under her pillow! The origin of the groom's cake is not clear. Today it serves as a way to offer guests an alternative to the traditional white bridal cake and is often chocolate cake decorated to represent something that is special to the groom (such as a sport or hobby). Saving the top tier of the cake ~ Keeping the top layer of the bride's cake until the first anniversay is said to ensure that the new couple will never go hungry. Kissing to clinking glasses ~ (We used noisemakers and party horn instead. Other alternatives may include bells.) In the days of arranged marriages, the bride and groom would never have kissed before the wedding. Making noise at the wedding feast became a way to urge the new couple to kiss...or to leave for their wedding chamber. The noisy party often followed the newlyweds to their wedding chamber and continued outside as a means to cover the screams of the often startled and frightened virgin bride! Bachelor (or stag) party ~ First held by Spartan soldiers, stag parties were a way to put an end to bachelorhood with one last raucous party. Bridal shower ~ Originally intended as a way to help the bride collect the household goods she would need in her new home (hence "showering" her with gifts), it was also a time for her to get the advice from her married relatives about the performance of her "wifely" duties. Cutting or breaking ribbons at the bridal shower ~ Each broken ribbon is said to symbolize the birth of a child especially if the gift is given by a new mother. Honeymoon ~ Medieval newlyweds spent a lunar month in seclusion (part of the capture scenario, too...out of sight, out of mind!) enjoying honey mead (provided by the bride's father). Honey is an ancient symbol of life, health, virility, and fertility. (Click here for more.) Planting an evergreen ~ In Holland, planting an evergreen tree outside the newlyweds' home is a symbol of fertility and luck. |
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| Want to read more about wedding traditions? Check out various articles on traditions at The Knot. |