Yes, that's right folks: We had to dig DEEP through the Star Trek: TNG script archives and have found a Lost Episode....Unfortunately, we could find the whole script, but we did get this much:
The scenario: The Enterprise has run into the Borg again and Capt. Picard has Lt. Data and Lt. Cmdr. Laforge analysing the data gathered from the Borg known as "Hugh" in hopes of finding a way to destroy them.
Picard: Mr. Laforge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?
Geordi: As a matter of fact, Captain, we have had considerable success. Ironically, we found the answer by searching through our archives for "Late 20th-Century Computer Technology."
Riker, looking puzzed: What the hell is "Microsoft?"
Data: Allow me to explain: we will send this ancient program, for some reason called "Windows", through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, this "Windows" will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.
Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they just alter their systems to allow for the increased demand?
Data: Yes, but when "Windows" detects this, it creates a new version of it's self, known as an "upgrade". The use of system resources increases exponantially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be used up and there will be nothing left for their normal operations.
Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that "colour coded cube puzzel".
Data: Sir, I believe it is called "Rubik's Cube."
Picard: Yes, well, whatever.
Data: Captain: we have sucessfully installed this "Windows" in the Borg's central command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed 85 percent of all the Borgs available resources. However, we have not recieved any confirmation of the expected "upgrade."
Geordi: Damn! Captain: our long range scanners have picked up an increase in the Borg's storage and CPU capacities and there is still no indication of the alleged "upgrade" to compensate for the Borg's increase in system capacity!
Picard: Mr. Data, scan through the historical records to determine if there is something we missed.
Data: Captain: I believe the reason for the failure of the "upgrade" is simply that the Borg have circumvented that part of our plan by not sending in their regestration cards.
Riker: Captain, I feel we have no choice but to begin executing emergency escape plan 3F. Compu--
Geordi, excited: WAIT!! Data, do you see what I see? Their CPU capacity has suddenly hit percent!!
Picard, curious: Mr. Data, what's you analysis? What happened?
Data, studying displays: Sir, apparently the Borg have found an internal "Windows" module named "Solitaire," like the ancient Earth card game. Captain, it has eaten up all CPU power and reduced them to mindless, sub-humanoid life forms. It's amazing that something so mundane as this "solitaire" could captivate them so readily...
Riker: Well...let's stick around for a while. I want to see how long this "solitaire" can keep them incapacitated.
Riker: Geordi: what's the status on the Borg?
Geordi: As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for the increased demand, but I have setup our closest deep space beacon to transmit more "Windows" modules to the Borg each time they successfully increase capacity from something called the "Microsoft Fun-Pack."
Picard: How much time does this give us?
Data: Current Borg compensation rates suggest 6 hours, 35 minutes, 18 seconds, 47 --
Riker: Thank-you, Mr. Data. All we needed was an estimate.
Geordi: Captain, another vessel is de-cloaking of the starboard bow.
Picard: Identify.
Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the "Microsoft" logo we saw earlier today.
Warf: Sir, the alien vessel is trying to hail the Borg ship. Opening channel...
Alien Vessel: THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP, "MONOPOLY". WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE WILL LET YOU LIVE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...TIME'S UP!
Warf: The alien vessel has opened it's forward hatches and is releasing thousands of humanoid-shaped objects.
Picard: Put it up on the forward viewer.....Magnify....More....More....
Riker: My God, Captain! Those are human beings out there, floating towards the Borg ship - with no life support suits!! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?
Data, confused: But sir, I don't beleive them to be human. ** He magnifies one of the objects 10 more times ** Look, sir, they are wearing Armani business suits and carrying something that became popular in the latter half of the 20th Century: Doe-skin leather briefcases...
Riker and Picard, pale: LAWYERS!!!!!
Geordi: No! That's not possible!! All the lawyers were supposedly rounded up and sent into the biggest supernova of the 21st Century during the "Great Awakening" of 2078!!
Data: Apparently, some of them survived....
Riker: Let's see the Borg ship...Oh my God!! They have covered the entire Borg ship with -- with -- PAPERS?!?!
Data: This tactic was used extensively during the 20th Century on Earth. It was referred to by the Ancient Humans as "red-tape". It is a tactic which always proved fatal.
Riker, horrified: Those lawyers are tearing the Borg to pieces!!!!
Picard, disgusted: Turn off the monitors, Mr. Data. Ensign: Set course for star base 209, warp 9, on my mark. I can't bear to watch. Even the Borg don't deserve the ravages visited upon them by Microsoft's lawyers. Nobody deserves such a gruesome death. Engage...Mr. Warf: I want you to warn every ship we come into contact with about what happened to the Borg. My God, I had no idea 20th Century Earth was such a hostile place...