IBM
If IBM made toasters, they would want one big toaster where people would bring bread to be submitted for toasting overnight.
IBM would claim a world-wide market for five maybe six toasters.
Xerox
If Xerox made toasters, you could toast one-sided or two-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter, and the toaster would jam your bread for you.
Radio Shack
If Radio Shack made toasters, the staff would sell you the toaster, but not know anything about it. On the flip side, you could buy the parts from Radio Shack to build your own toaster.
University of Waterloo
If the University of Waterloo made toasters, they would immediately spin off a company and call it WatToast.
ParcPlace
If ParcPlace made toasters, their OO building block system would be called EGGO.
Microsoft
If Microsoft made toasters, they would claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home, you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and indeed, the whole appliance was just blowing smoke.
Sun
If Sun made toasters, the toast would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java.
DEC
Does DEC still make toasters?... They made good taosters in the 1980's, didn't they?
Hewlett-Packard
If these guys made toasters, they would market the Reverse Polish Untoaster, which takes in toast and gives back plain bread.
Tandem
If Tandem made toasters, you could make toast 24 hours a day, and if a piece got burned, it would automatically make a new one for you.
Thinking Machines
If they made toasters, you could toast up to 64,000 pieces of bread, simultaneously.
Cray
If Cray made toasters, these things would cost about $16 Million, but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster on the face of the Earth.
Rand Corp.
If the Rand Corporation made toasters, they would be large, perfectly seamless black cubes. Every morning, there would be a piece of toast (still warm) on top. The phone number for their service department would be unlisted, and the blueprints for this mysterious box would be highly classified government documents. The X-Files would make an episode about it.
NSA
If the NSA made toasters, your toaster would have a secret trap-door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of National Security.
Sony
If Sony made toasters, the ToastMan, which would be barely big enough to fit the single slice of bread it is meant to toast, would attach conveniently attach to your belt for portable toasting.