If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft built cars...
-
Every time they repainted the lines on the road,
you'd have to buy a new car.
-
Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway
for no reason, so, you'd have to accept this, restart and drive on.
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Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause
your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine.
For some strange reason, you'd accept this too.
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You could only have one person in the car at a
time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to
buy more seats.
-
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive
- but Microsoft would tell you it'll only run on five percent of the roads,
and you'd have to believe them, because they wouldn't lie to you, would
they?
-
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft
upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower, they'd
switch to the Faster Microsoft car.
-
The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights
would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
-
People would get excited about the "new" features
in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in
other cars for many years.
-
We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all
auto fluids but the packaging would be superb.
-
New seats would force everyone to have the same
size butt.
-
The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before
going off.
-
If you were involved in a crash, you would have
no idea what happened.
-
They wouldn't build their own engines, but form
a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 1 cylinder,
multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side valve design
so you could use old rusted out Model-T parts on it, and not much else.
-
There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos,
but it would be slower on most existing roads.
-
Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette/CD
player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft
Cassettes/CDs. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.
-
Microsoft would do so well, because even though
they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away
Microsoft cars free, including IBM.
-
If you still ran old versions of Microsoft Car
(i.e.. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), or another Car (i.e.. CarMac, CarNix,
CarOS), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to
drive much faster, and on more roads!
-
If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you
could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.
-
Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize
the ignition for a few days before it worked.
-
You would need to buy an upgrade to run 2 or more
cars on a motorway next to each other.
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