If Microsoft built cars...
 

• Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, so, you'd have to accept this, restart and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd accept this too.
• You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but Microsoft would tell you it'll only run on five percent of the roads, and you'd have to believe them, because they wouldn't lie to you, would they?
• The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower, they'd switch to the Faster Microsoft car.
• The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
• People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.
• We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb.
• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
• The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
• If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
• They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 1 cylinder, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side valve design so you could use old rusted out Model-T parts on it, and not much else.
• There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.
• Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette/CD player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes/CDs. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.
• Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM.
• If you still ran old versions of Microsoft Car (i.e.. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), or another Car (i.e.. CarMac, CarNix, CarOS), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!
• If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.
• Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.
• You would need to buy an upgrade to run 2 or more cars on a motorway next to each other.


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