If I Were Not In The C.I.D.

A hillarious song from Monty Python's Flying Circus. Writen and performed by Graham Chapman and John Cleese it is very very looney.

Inspector Dim:
If I were not in the CID
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner, me!
With a rub-a-dud-dud and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long.
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I'd sing this merry song!

Inspector Dim and the Court:
If I were not in the CID
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner, me!
With a rub-a-dud-dud and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long.
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I'd sing this merry song!  HEY!
(Music Stops)

Counsel:
If I were not in the bar before
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not in the barrister
An engine driver, me!
With a chuff-chuff-chuff and a chuff-chuff-chuff.............
(Awkward silence......)