Every Sperm is Sacred

This song, written by Terry Jones and Michael Palin and composed by Davide Howman and Andre Jacquemin, appeared in The Meaning of Life. It is sung by a very large group of lots of very british folk and a whole bunch of children; it sounds like something out of Oliver, as it was meant to.  The statement of this song was basically a comentary on the Catholic Church's birth control policy.

(Intro, spoken by Michael) There are Jews in the world,
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those who follow Mohammed --but--
I've never been one of them....

(Michael, now singing)
I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm!

You don't have to be a six-footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on
You're a Catholic the moment dad came

Because....

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If I sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate.

(Children singing)
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If I sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate.

(Child) Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay
For each sperm that can't be found

Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

(Terry) Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

(Men) Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
(Women) If a sperm is wasted
(Children) God gets quite irate.

(Presit) Every sperm is sacred
(Bride and Groom) Every sperm is good
(Nannies) Every sperm is needed
(Cardinals) In your neighborhood

(Children) Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
(Man) God needs everybody's
(Man) Mine!
(Woman) And mine!
(Man) And Mine!

(Nun) Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain
(Statues) God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain

(Everyone) Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If I sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate!!!