Bruces' Philosopher Song

The Bruces' Philosopher song is one of the classic songs of Python.  Despite what many think, it did not appear in the original Bruce's sketch in episode 22 of Flyinh Circus, it appeared in only appeared in the later versions. 

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
Who was very rarely stable
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya
'Bout the raisin' of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed!

John Stewart Mill of his own free will
On a half a pint of shanty was particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
A half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Decartes was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am!"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed--
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.